Stripped of my innocence
by Banksiesbabe99
Summary: On one ordinary night, she was stripped of her innocence in the brutalist way possible. Her trust hit an all time low. Can the ducks help her through it, or will they see her differently now? PLEASE R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

Chapter 1 - prologue

I felt dirty, a dirtiness that I would never get rid of. A dirtiness that would scar me for the rest of my life. No amount of scrubbing and cleaning of all the crevices, would rid me of this dirt. In time I might grow used to the dirt on me, but I would **_never_** forget that it was there. Other people might not know it was there straight away, but they soon would. It wasn't something you could see outwardly, unless you really took a good look.

It was like a scar, and like any scar, it was there forever, and only I was to blame. With time, people may forget, but I never would. The pain may dull, but it would always be as vicious in my memory as the day it happened. A memory, I wish could be erased, as easily as a computer document, though my computer wasn't meant to function that way. My computer saved every last smidgen of memories, some may get lost in the hidden depths, but this one was impossible to lose.

When people found out, which was inevitable, I knew they'd say I had it coming, or I deserved it, or they weren't surprised. I do however beg to differ. Nobody deserves this, the pain, the uncontrollable agony, the loss. I had lost everything – my self respect, my trust, my whole life had been thrown in the gutter, along with my body.

How was I ever meant to go back to the way things were, knowing that everyone knew, hearing the whispers behind my back, the looks of disbelief, the looks of pity, and even worse the looks that told me I was different from them. Dirty. Some may even say it was a blessing in disguise, to teach me the error of my ways.

Now, or have I never been a reckless person. Yes I admit to the fact I was a wild child, fun loving, game for a laugh. Who wouldn't be if they'd had my child hood. I don't however wish to blame my misfortune on my early years. I was a normal, young college student, with everything to look forward to. A caring boyfriend, whom I loved and he loved me, friends who had stuck around through thick and thin and a future full of possibilities.

I didn't stay out too late, and if I did, I was never alone. I never really put myself in dangerous situations, well I hadn't until now. I had always thought I was pretty careful, never dressed, provocatively, never lead guys on, in fact other than my friends and boyfriend, I rarely had anything to do with them.

But even if I acted recklessly, dressed provocatively, flirted with the opposite sex and partied till early doors, I didn't deserve this. No-one, no matter how they act, deserves this. I don't care what anyone says, no-one, simply asks for this, because if they did, it wouldn't be what it is. It wouldn't be **_rape_**.

So, I know this a little out there, probably hitting a few nerves, but I don't know, I felt it about time, I wrote something about issues that happen EVERY day. PLEASE R&R!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

A : Glad you enjoyed it. It doesn't sound bad that you want to know who it happened to, I would anyway lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : Hey you! I think it pretty much is a sad story, but I promise there's bits of humor in it too, well I think buts are funny lol. I'm glad you think I write good Connie fics, but to be honest, when I started writing this, I hadn't really decided whether it should be a Connie or Julie fic, so you'll have to wait and see I suppose lol.. Anyways thanks once again for your support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

GRUMPYPIRATE : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

KATIE : Hey up! You aren't that bad, trust me lol. What is there to forgive? I swear I'm not mad or anything like that. So you forgot to review a few chapters, it doesn't mean you're not my number one fan anymore lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

GOBLZ : Arr, thank you. I really wasn't sure about this fic when I started, I thought it might be a bit too serious, but obviously not. Oh yeah, I'm definitely planning on continuing, as you can probably see lol. Well we know it's either going to be a Connie or Julie fic don't we lol, but as for who it is, you'll all just have to read carefully, and try and guess before I officially announce who it is lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

RACHEL : Me a pro? Yeah right lol. I'm laughing hysterically here. You'd better post another story lol. I mean it! YAY! I rock lol, course I do, I'm just like you lol. Anyways you best post another story even if it's just for me lol, thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

ORANGE09 : You think it's Connie huh? Well you'll have to look out for clues won't you, until I officially announce it lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 2

The room, I was taken to, was meant to feel comfortable, safe even. But it didn't make me feel either of those things. It made me feel uptight, scared and confused. I didn't want to be there, why I'd let them talk me into this I would never know. 'he needs to be found', they had said. 'You can't just ignore this', they had told me. What did they know? They didn't know anything about the way I was feeling.

All I wanted was to go home and be left alone. I wanted to take a shower and try to get rid of this dirt that covered me. I wanted to try to forget everything, get on with my life. But I wouldn't be able to forget, it was burnt into my memory, preventing me from having my life back. I'd be continually looking over my shoulder, my brain working against me, making me think someone was following me.

Maybe if I got on a plane and headed home, to my family and loved ones, maybe then I could forget. No-one there would know what happened to me, they'd treat me the same as they always had. But then I'd always know, it would haunt me forever, taunting me at every chance it got. Why would running away solve anything? And the thing is, I wouldn't just be running away from my problems, I'd also be running away from 12 people who had come to be more than just friends, they too were my family.

"Hey there"! The door opened slowly, revealing, a young female police officer, or maybe she was a doctor. I couldn't tell, she was dressed in casual clothes. "I'm Theresa West. I'm a police doctor, I work solely for the police, and I promise you, nothing you say to me, will go further, if you don't want it to". She seemed nice, but my trust had been ripped away, and I watched her cautiously. "I know you must be going through a turmoil of feelings right now, so I'm going to try and make this as quick and painless as possible ok"?

"What have I gotta do"? I asked gently, refraining from sharing eye contact with her.

"Ok, firstly, I've got to get another officer in here as a witness, then you'll need to go behind the screen, stand on the sheet of paper, and in your own time, remove all you clothing and jewelry, placing them on the other pieces of paper. You'll find some scrubs in there and if you could put those on". She told me gently, and I nodded mutely along.

The other officer came in, and I stood, heading behind the screen and doing exactly what she'd asked of me. I didn't feel as though I was in complete control of myself, I was just blanking everything out, trying anything to take my mind away from exactly what I was doing. When I had finished undressing, I slipped the scrubs on, before stepping back out. The doctor smiled encouragingly at me, but it didn't mean a thing to me.

"You're clothes are going down to the lab where they'll be examined by forensics for finger prints, and semen". She informed me.

In the following few seconds, I felt the breath being taken from my lungs, my throat was closing in, and bile rising steadily in my throat. I felt sick, the sudden realization hitting me in full force. I felt even more dirty now, and I absently began scratching at my arms, scratching at a non existent itch.

"I know this is really hard, but the next step, is a physical examination. We can take it as slow or fast as you want, and we won't do anything without you being ok with it. But we really need to do this".

A, a physical examination. I suppose I had known all along, that I would need one, but the idea seemed very real, this woman, was a complete stranger, much like my attacker had been. Even though they both had very different motives, the fact still remained, she was going to be prodding and probing, at me. More than likely bringing the pain back, the flashbacks. I knew it had to be done, and I nodded gently, tears forming in my eyes, fear striking me, so much harder than my pain.

What struck me as odd, was the fear I held of these two women. I had come up against people, guys mainly, twice her size, in the Junior Goodwill Games, especially so when we played the Iceland team, then again at Eden Hall. Yet, I was scared of two women who were trying to help me. Why? I gulped, as though I was trying to swallow my fear, trying to rid of the dryness in my throat, before nodding for her to continue

She slowly explained, the first part of the examination, was all external. Bruises and cuts for example, anything that could be related. I hated every second of this, her looking at my body, noting down anything she found. I think I must have cried throughout, feeling more ashamed of myself than I had ever done my whole life.

Next came the internal. The easiest bit of this, was having swabs taken from inside my mouth. The small sponge running softly around my mouth. It was still an experience I never wanted to live again, but it was one, that had been the easiest.

"Before I carry on, I need to ask a few questions ok"? I nodded, a slight confusion hitting me. "Before last night, have you been involved in any sexual intercourse with a boyfriend, and if so how long ago was it"?

This hit me like a bomb. I felt as though she was looking at me critically. I was scared if I told her, she'd think I was a slut of some kind. But I also knew she needed to know, and she wouldn't care when it was.

"Um, about um, 6 maybe 7 days ago". I answered truthfully.

"And when was your last period"? She noted everything down.

"I um, I finished 2 days ago".

"And do you take birth control pills, or do you use something else". As embarrassing as these questions maybe, they had suddenly taken a very serious turn.

"I take the pill, but we um, we also use condoms". I admitted. Well no-one could say we weren't careful.

"This is the last question I promise. How long have you been taking the pill for"?

"About 5 years. I used to suffer with bad periods". I told her, not wanting to make it sound as though I'd been at it for years.

"That's great. Now if you could just take your pants off and lay on the bed for me. This may hurt a little, but you're doing brilliantly. This is the last bit of examination we need ok"?

I felt uncomfortable doing this, but there was a little voice, that kept reminding me, I'd got this far, there was no-way I was quitting now. I winced and cried as she carried out her examination, feeling the most humiliated I had ever been. She talked gently to me throughout, telling me I was doing great, and before I knew it, she was telling me I could redress.

After dressing, I stepped cautiously out from behind the screen. The doctor was sat down, the other officer sat beside her. She gestured for me to take a seat opposite her. I eyed her carefully before seating myself. I felt their eyes upon me, waiting patiently, for me to make myself comfortable. Comfortable? That wasn't a word I even recognized now. It was something I doubted very much, I'd ever feel again.

"Ok. I know you must be fed up, and just wanting this over and done, but this is the last part I promise".

Though she had been incredibly nice about everything, I was getting increasingly tired of hearing the words 'I know' and 'I promise'. She didn't know anything about how I was feeling, or what I was going through, and as for her 'promises', that word meant nothing to me anymore.

She gave me a few seconds to let everything sink in before leaning forward slightly in her seat. She was obviously awaiting my go ahead. I nodded simply, unable to find my voice, knowing exactly what the next step would be. To be honest, I felt like this would be the worst part of all, having to re-tell everything, explain everything.

"Right, in your own time, at your own pace, tell us, exactly what happened"? She asked steadily.

"I um, I was working last night. I work at the café Moondance. I work there with my friend. Normally we work the same shifts, but she'd booked the night off so, she could go to this party they were having in a neighboring dorm. I tried booking the night off, but I wasn't able to. I told the ducks, that after I'd finished"…

"The ducks"? Theresa asked.

"Oh, they're my friends. We played hockey together at the junior goodwill games about 7 years ago". I informed her, seeing her nod. "Well, um, my boyfriend, said he'd come and pick me up, then we'd go to the party together"…

_**FLASHBACK**_

"No, you go to the party. I'll be ok getting home on my own". I stood facing him, his arms wrapped around me. "Besides, I might not feel up to the party after work".

"But I don't like the idea of you walking home alone". He protested.

"Charlie, I'm a big girl. I'm perfectly capable of getting myself home". I informed him. "By the time I finish, it won't have gone dark yet".

"It's not you I'm worried about, it's anyone who tries messing with you". He joked.

"Oh ha, ha". I gently smacked is arm. "Get to class before you say anything else ridiculously funny". I replied sarcastically, before standing on my tip toes and kissing him gently.

"That's me, your funny guy". He shouted as he ran down the corridor, probably already late.

I had been dating him for 3 years. We had become pretty close, during our time at Eden Hall, and began dating during the summer break between our Sophomore and Junior years of High school. I could read him better than I could my favorite book. I knew when his temper was rising, and I knew exactly how to quash it, before he erupted. I had often been called a miracle worker by the ducks, for being the only one who could do this. I often replied 'No, not a miracle worker, just crazy', which made us all laugh, cooling Charlie's temper even more.

"Hey guys". I said joining Adam, Portman and Ken on the grass outside College.

We all shared more or less similar classes and found ourselves constantly sharing our free periods together. It was weird really, stick me with a group of guys, and I was at my most comfortable, yet stick me with a group of girls, and I sat there feeling like a wet leper.

Ken was sat crossed legged, his laptop in his lap, as he compared class notes with Adam. Portman just sat there, trying to understand exactly why they were comparing notes since they'd both been in the class at the same time. It wasn't as though they'd had the same lesson but different professors.

"So you going to the party tonight"? Portman asked me, as I laid on my stomach next to him.

"Um, I dunno. I'm working, so if I have the energy I'll probably come by afterwards".

"You gotta come, it won't be the same without you".

"Arr, I didn't realize you loved me so much Portman". I joked.

"I don't like to make a big deal". He winked at me, then cracked up laughing.

"What are you two laughing at"? Adam looked up.

"Nothing". Both me and Portman laughed conspiratorially.

"Yeah right". Ken smirked, putting his attention back on his work.

"Haven't you got hockey practice tonight"? I asked Portman.

"Yeah, straight after you _girls_". He said in a girly voice.

"What a wonderful analysis of the team. And here I was thinking you wouldn't know the opposite sex if it jumped up and bit your butt", I laughed.

"You know I wasn't including you in that don't you". He laughed.

"Ooh how kind of you Portman", I replied sarcastically.

"That's me, a perfect gentleman". He answered, trying his hardest not to laugh.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

KATIE : Hey you! So you think this is a Connie/Charlie fic huh? No, no, no, you're wrong, I'm a heavy Connie/Adam fan lol. Can I sense a pang of jealousy that Guy isn't my main character? Do I need o make another promise to make another Connie/Guy story just for you lol. Anyways thanks for your support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : Hey! I take it you want it to be Connie? Lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Y0URS-TRULY : That's kinda cheating, expecting either of them to be the main character lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

GOBLZ : Hey! Love your reasoning's about which character it should be lol. Right, however the whole getting close to Charlie thing, it could have been either really, as if you think about it, Connie wasn't SUPER close to Charlie, as she was more close to Guy. However, when I mentioned 'coming up against players twice her size in the JGG', I specifically had Julie in mind, as she did actually come up against them seen in the first game against Iceland, when she knocks Gunnar Stahl and the other guy to the floor. But however it could be either of them, as your reasoning's work for both character lol. Oh not another Connie/Guy super fan lol. Well either way, whether the main character is Connie or Guy, I promise I will write another Connie/Guy (sighs heavily) fic, even though I much prefer Adam/Connie myself lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 3

After all my classes had finished, I headed straight back to my dorm, where I grabbed my hockey gear. We had practice 4 times a week, and 3 of them all happened to be straight after my classes finished, the other being at 6am in the morning. Though I got on with all my team, I sometimes couldn't help but wish I had been allowed to stay with the ducks.

The transition from them to my new team had been difficult, and I still found myself arguing with the coach at least every other practice. Without sounding big headed, or bragging, but had I probably not been one of his best players, I think he may have dropped me along time ago. Our personalities clashed worse than water and oil, though I wasn't the only one.

The practice was grueling, yet strangely, I didn't fall behind in the laps or any of the other stupid exercises he liked to give us. I probably would have done, had it been a duck practice, but out here with other girls, made it easier. I suppose playing with boys for 8 years, had paid off.

"Julie 'the cat', c'mon, get those legs working". He shouted over the ice, and I winced.

I hated it when he said 'the cat'. He said it almost as though he thought it funny, not understanding the meaning of the name. It bugged me more, because no-one had ever told him to use that name. Julie, or Gaffney was quite sufficient. Only 14 people including myself, have ever used that nickname.

"C'mon Moreau, you can do better than that". He yelled, causing me to scowl even harder.

I picked my speed up some more, not wanting to have to be told again. He continued shouting other orders to the other girls, and I heard a few mutterings come from some of them. I wasn't the only one, who disagreed with him on a regular basis.

I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but God did I miss Orion. I couldn't believe how lucky the guys had been, when he followed us all here. I think he had somehow found himself getting rather attached to us, though truth be told, we'd all got attached to him. I still often went to him for help, especially if it were hockey related, as I didn't feel happy going to Coach Ramsden with the problem.

I remember asking Orion once, why Ramsden treat us all the way he did, as though he was arch enemy number one. Orion's reply, 'You're all so busy hating him, you don't have time to hate each other. He's helping you become more of a team'. I had understood the logic, but not the reasoning. From the very first time we met, we'd all molded and become friends. Ok not as close as we had been with the ducks, but never in a million years could we be that close.

To end practice, he had us play a quick game. There was 14 players including 2 goalies, so it was pretty easy to separate us into teams. When we were in our teams, we had a minute with each other, deciding on any plans and strategy's and so on and so forth.

The game began, and basically, we just had a bit of fun, though we made Ramsden think we were deadly serious. He wasn't the kind of guy you could have 'just fun' with. To him, everything was a competition. Throughout the 15 minute game, he yelled at almost everyone, shouting if any of them missed a shot, or a pass, though my name had yet to be mentioned, it was only a matter of time.

"Julie 'the cat', keep your head in the game". The loud gruff voice yelled. "Nice shot Moreau". He yelled again.

He loved putting us up against each other, knowing how close we were. It was as though he was jealous of our closeness. Nearly every practice, he put us on separate teams, and watches how we work against each other. What he didn't realize was, neither of us, cared. It was a game to us. I never told the secret of her game, and she never told of mine. Though there had been many an opportunity to get one over on each other, we never had.

"DEFENSE TIGHTEN UP". Ramsden yelled, almost angrily. I could tell by the tone of his voice, it was near the last few minutes of the game. "GAFFNEY, DON'T TAKE YOUR EYES FROM THAT PUCK! HOLTON, PASS THE GOD DAMN PUCK"! He was getting a desperate now. I scowled, but ignored his words, blocking out his existence.

I looked up, and noticed the ducks watching the last few minutes of our practice, before their own. I saw Orion at the back the crowd, also watching. His expression seemed neutral, but I knew there was a hint unease there.

"MOREAU, WHERE'S THE DEFENSE"! I was guessing he too had seen the ducks and Orion, and was trying to show off in front of them.

What he did next completely shocked me. Never in the year I had been on this team, had he done something so, well ridiculous is one word for it. He took Holton out of the game, replacing her with **_himself_**. We all looked shocked at this, but non the less, positioned ourselves ready to start. The fact he had neither pads nor helmet on, never really crossed my mind to be honest. He added another 10 minutes to the game and skated centre ice.

When we started, he played quite dirty to be honest, tripping the opposing team, and in one or two cases, his own team. He was really ticking me off now, he wasn't doing any of this to teach us anything, he was doing this to show off. I watched astonished as he knocked Kelly Hawkes straight into the boards. He scored straight after, giving us a few seconds before we had to set up for the next face off. I helped pick Kelly up, before we crowded round.

"I swear to God, I'm gonna kill him". Kelly raged.

"No, no, look that's what he wants. He knows your gonna try going after him now. Look, just keep playing for a few minutes, put him off a"…

"C'mon Moreau, stop your mothers meeting". He shouted over to us, his face covered with a smirk.

"We all should just go after him". Gates fumed.

"No, see he's expecting that. Just play like you were before. I'll wipe that smirk off his face. Seems he has it in for me today anyway". I skated away, hearing my team mates agreement.

For the next few minutes, we played smart, pretty much giving him a bit of confidence that we weren't going to try anything. I however had a few moves up my sleeve. I nodded to Kelly, letting her know I was intending to start. They all knew to back me up, but they also knew I was going to take pleasure in getting my own back.

He stole the puck and began flying down the ice. I had been skating along the other wall, keeping up with him the best I could. When I was sure the timing was just about right, I shot sideways, heading straight for him. Luckily he was that busy showing off, he didn't see me coming toward him. When I was near enough, I fell onto my front, continuing to slide with the momentum left from my speed. I slid straight in front of him, dragging the puck with me, and tripping him up in the process.

He fell flat on his face, and I immediately scurried to my feet, hitting the puck hard to clear it. I turned around to see Ramsden just climbing to hit feet. He didn't look too happy, but I didn't exactly hang around to find out. I skated back into the game, keeping one eye on Ramsden, knowing he'd want pay back. I wasn't really concentrating on scoring or how we were playing, just on him. Gates hit the puck toward me, and it hit the side and stayed there. I went over to retrieve it, but I didn't look at the puck, my eyes remained on the Plexiglas, where I could clearly see Ramsden heading full tilt toward me. I knew exactly what he was going to do, and stayed there until the very last second, when I dove out of the way, causing him to hit the Plexiglas rather than me.

I heard some cheering and roaring, but picked myself up. I knew he'd be really pissed now. There was 5 minutes left, and I knew I'd have to skate my heart out, if I was to stay on top of our little situation with Ramsden. As expected, he was really pissed with me, and skated very close, trying to trip or check me at every opportunity. It took all my energy just to be ready for anything he threw my way. I had long ago, stopped paying attention to the puck, or what my team mates were doing for that matter. I was determined, he wasn't going to get his own back. He came at me another few times, but I either spun, dove or skated out of his way.

Finally Holton blew the whistle, and I allowed myself to skate slowly to a stop. I fell to the floor, exhausted and breathing hard. I couldn't help but notice Ramsden too, was very out of breath. Without letting himself catch a breath, he began barking orders at some of the team, what they needed to work on and such. Then he ordered us off the ice. Julie and Kelly grabbed my gloved hands and began pulling me up off the ice.

"MOREAU. A WORD"! Ramsden yelled, as he skated to the team bench.

I let out a huge sigh, noticing the ducks talking with the team, and Julie heading for a hug from Portman. I knew they were all hanging around to hear the argument we were bound to have. When I reached him, I stood silently, still breathing heavy might I add.

"That was dirty playing Moreau. I don't EVER want to see that kind of playing from you in practice. DO YOU UNDERSTAND". He yelled.

"I was playing dirty? And what were you doing, playing by the rules". I yelled back. "Can't stand a girl getting the better of you huh _coach_"?

"You didn't get the better of me Moreau. Now get out of here, before you earn yourself some laps". His voice was harsh.

"Whatever". I replied, and began skating off the ice.

"That's it, laps MOREAU". He yelled, the loudest he had all practice.

"Fine, how many, _coach". _I stated, not really expecting an answer.

"Until I tell you to stop". His voice boomed.

I immediately started my laps. My legs felt like two lead weights, but I was determined not to show him, how weak I was feeling at that given moment. I could feel him watching me, his eyes almost burning into me. He continued shouting comments every so often, things like 'get those legs working' or 'speed up'. I choose to ignore him. The muscles throughout my whole body were burning as if on fire. My lungs felt tight and raspy.

By the time I'd done 50 laps, the ducks were exiting their locker rooms, and I saw them stand just off the ice, watching in horror. Orion not far behind them. Ramsden called to Orion that the ducks could start their warm ups. I took this as a sign he was nearly finished with me.

"I think she's done enough". I heard Orion state clearly to Ramsden.

"She's fine". He replied harshly, obviously not liking the fact that Orion was worried about me.

My legs were beginning to feel numb, and I struggled to maintain the strength to keep going. I was aware that my skating was beginning to get extremely sloppy, yet I hadn't the energy to care. Suddenly, one of my legs gave way, and I collapsed to the ice.

"GET UP MOREAU". Ramsden shouted. I took a deep breath. "MOREAU, I SAID GET UP"!

I struggled to my feet, very aware the ducks were watching intently. I saw Charlie start to skate toward me, but backed off as soon as I'd clambered to my feet. I began my laps again, all my energy going in to keeping myself upright. I saw Orion head back to Ramsden, his whole demeanor had changed, I could tell by the way he stood, his shoulders tense that he was angry.

"RAMSDEN, THAT'S ENOUGH. You say she's your best player, yet you're running her into the ground". He shouted.

"She needs to learn some respect". Ramsden replied.

Respect? That was one thing he'd never gain from me. Respect worked both ways, and as far as I was concerned, the more he treat us the way he did, the less and less I respected him for it.

"And this is the way to go". He was talking in his superior voice now, of which he was, as he had been here a year longer than Ramsden. "You want to earn their respect, give a little yourself. MOREAU". He called me. I ground to a stop, and looked thankfully at him, still trying my hardest to catch my breath. "Practice is over". He called.

I swear I saw I'm wink at me, as I began skating away, hearing Ramsden argue more with Orion. I sluggishly made my way to the locker rooms, feeling as though any minute I could collapse. I was pleased to see Julie had waited for me, the only one who had might I add. She greeted me with a hug, before pushing me into a seat, and helping me get my skates off. I pulled my helmet off, revealing my hair wet through with sweat. Julie asked me nothing, probably already knowing what he'd put me through. There was a gentle knock at the door, then Orion popped his head around it.

"Connie, you ok"? His concern was genuine.

"Yeah. Thanks Coach". I continued breathing harsh, but my breathing was slowly settling.

"You're welcome". He winked then left.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer : I don't own owt so there!

GOBLZ : Yeah, it's definitely Connie. Surprise, surprise eh? Lol. Oh no, they aren't at Eden Hall, they're in college. Sorry I didn't make that very clear did i? lol. Ok, I promise to try and write another Guy/Connie fic at some point. I'm glad you liked my previous C/G story lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Y0URS-TRULY : It was Connie's. I purposely didn't tell whose P.O.V it was, because up until the last chapter, I hadn't stated exactly who this story was about. Yeah, I totally with you could do that on tests, damn I'd pass each one with flying colours lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : You knew did you, you should have said, I might have changed it, so you weren't right lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CONNIE/CHARLIE FAN : Yeah, it is a Connie/Charlie fic. I'm glad you enjoyed my last one. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

EM : Yeah, it is Connie. Hey don't boo Connie/Adam, they are the best couple since sliced bread lol, much prefer Adam to Charlie, but never mind lol. You can't just stab Charlie, he's like the main character to my story and the CAPTAIN of the ducks, they'd be lost without him lol. Yeah, totally love pointless reviews lol, they are so enjoyably pointless lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

GRUMPYPIRATE : YAY for Orion then lol. For some reason though, recently, I've much preferred Orion to Bombay, dunno why though lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 4

I was exhausted after practice, and the thought of having to work 3 hours at the café, made feel even more tired. I knew I couldn't call in sick, as it seemed a bit of a coincidence that I'd already asked for the night off, then because I hadn't been given it, I was suddenly ill.

Julie hung around until I was ready to leave, and then slipped her arm through mine, as we walked out. The guys were still on the ice, and we waved as we walked passed, but not all of them noticed. When we got outside, we headed towards our dorm.

"Do you ever think about quitting the team"? Julie asked suddenly.

"Honestly"? I looked at her, and she nodded. "All the time". I admitted. "What about you, you ever thought about it"?

"Sometimes I really do wanna quit, but others I just, well, I don't". She replied. "Why don't you then"? She looked at me, and I knew she'd be able to tell if I lied.

"I suppose it's because, I don't want to show him that he's gotten to me. Another part of me doesn't want to, because I love playing hockey, and after college, I won't be able to play in proper games anymore".

There was silence between us, as we both thought about my words. There were times, especially like today, that I really did, just want to jack it all in. It wasn't because I couldn't cope with the level we were playing and practicing, it was all because of him.

"You know, you're too stubborn for your own good". Julie stated, a smile playing on her lips.

"I like to think of it as a good thing". I laughed. "Anyway, I gotta get to work". I told her, when we got closer to our building. "Have fun tonight". I said, heading in a different direction.

"Try and come, it'll be fun". She shouted.

"I'll try". I shouted, before turning and walking away.

I arrived at the café, 15 minutes early, and the place was almost empty. Rosie was up front, wiping tables and the counterss. She looked up at me when I walked in. She winked, then popped the bubble she had blown from her chewing gum. She was a typical waitress, one you'd expect to be in the movies. She chewed gum constantly, blowing huge bubbles every so often. She called all the customers sugar or honey, winking at any nice looking guys. Her straw colored hair was pulled tightly into a bun on top of her head.

"Hey sugar, you're early". She stated, heading toward me.

"Yeah, I came straight from practice". I replied.

"I don't know how you do it". She walked passed me.

"Neither do I". I responded. "Neither do I". I sighed and headed to the cloak room, putting my apron on, over my t-shirt and black trousers.

I headed into the kitchen area, where Enrique was cleaning the cooker. His head and shoulders were inside the oven, and I could hear the echo of his thick Italian accent as he sang along with Kelis' song Milkshake, that was playing over the radio.

"_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, damn right, it's better than yours, damn right, it's better than yours, I can teach you, but I'd have to charge_… He sang, his Italian accent curling around the words.

"Damn. Enrique, I didn't know you played for the opposite team". I cracked out laughing.

"OW"! He went to get up, and obviously bumped his head. "Jesus, Mary e Joseph. Quel hurts sanguinanti". He muttered in his mother tongue.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump", I apologized, yet couldn't stop laughing.

"Enrique, I'm going. It's 5". Rosie shouted from up front.

"I'll go out front". I told him, heading there.

"I'll be out there, as soon as I finish cleaning the damn oven". He muttered again.

"Sure thing". I laughed and made my way out.

The café was empty, and since there was nothing left to clean, since Rosie had only just done it, and there had been no customers to dirty the tables, I sat on a stool, and began reading a magazine from the stack kept in one corner. It was unusual for it to be this quiet, though I wasn't complaining too much. I kept hearing Enrique cursing in Italian, as though I couldn't understand what he was saying, though I had an idea that non of his phrases were, shall we say child friendly.

I had just finished reading an article in the magazine, when I heard the door swing open, and stood just in the entrance, were 5 tourists. They settled into a booth, and I left them a few minutes to check the menu out. After a minute or so, I picked my tray up, and note pad, before walking over to them.

"What can I get you"? I asked politely. They looked at me astonished.

"You don't sound very much like an American waitressy type". Who looked to be the oldest of the group spoke. He spoke with an English accent. I knew they had been expecting a ditzy blonde, popping gum in my mouth, whilst speaking in a squeaky voice.

"And what exactly is 'an American Waitressy type'"? I asked.

"Well, um, like"… One of them tried to explain.

"Do you mean like this"? I took a breath, then began batting my eyelids. "So, ok, like, what's it to be sugar"? I drawled out my words.

"Yes, exactly". One of them declared.

"Yeah, no. We're a dying breed. What can I get you". I reverted back to my own voice.

They gave me there orders, and I took them into the kitchen for Enrique to start cooking, whilst I made them, their drinks. Whilst I had been in the kitchen, a few of our regulars had come in, and sat on the stools next to the counter. I served the drinks then returned to take their orders.

"Hey Bob, what'll it be"? I asked, standing opposite the middle aged man, that came in the same time every day, on his way home from work.

"Oh hey Connie. Um, I think I'll take a lemon upside down cake, and a cappuccino to take out"? He asked, looking at our cake selections.

"Sure thing". I completed his order quickly, then bid him goodbye.

"Connie"? Enrique came round front, watching as his customers drank and ate.

"Yeah". I asked, adding more coffee grounds to the filter.

"Could you do some overtime tonight. Avril's just called in sick"? He asked, in a pleading tone.

"Ugh". I debated in my head. "I suppose so, but only cause it's you asking". I laughed.

"Siete un angelo". He told me then waked away, leaving me both wondering exactly what he'd just said, and laughing.

30 minutes later, I was run off my feet. The café got really busy, and with just me and Enrique, orders began mounting, and we began rushing around like headless chickens. A few of our regulars kept calling me over, wanting refills of coffee, and a quick chat, which I didn't really have the time for. Enrique began cursing under his breath, every time I placed another order.

Eventually we worked through the orders, and the café went quiet again. There were only a few people sat in the booths, mainly young couples that were having a bite to eat after a movie or something. I was stood leaning on the counter next to Enrique.

"So how much have I earned overtime tonight"? I asked, laughing gently.

"That's what it's all about for isn't it"? He laughed.

"Ahh, you know me so well". I joked.

Although he was my boss, he had never once acted like it. He treat all his staff as equals and gave us plenty of respect. He had short black hair, that was always under his American flag bandana, his round face had chubby qualities to it, and his skin slightly tanned. He was slightly overweight, but not overly so, yet he blamed it on his cooking abilities. He had a knack of coming up with harebrain schemes, that often only lasted a week or so. Among his great plans had been 70's nights, vegetarian days, Italian days, English Breakfast days and of course not forgetting table top dancing nights.

"I was thinking about making you all wear roller skates, liven the place up"? He suggested.

"And kill people". I laughed.

"What? You and Julie can already skate". He declared.

"True, but what about Rosie, Avril and Melanie"?

"You can teach them". He told me.

At that second I decided to just shut up, my argument, would only make him more determined. I watched as the last few customers paid their bill, and left, leaving me and Enrique alone. After a few seconds, he headed to the door and locked it. It was only 10pm, and I looked at him oddly, we weren't meant to close for another half hour.

"We're closing early". He shrugged.

For the next 15 minutes, I cleared the tables, and wiped the counter top, before heading into the kitchen to see if he wanted any help I there.

"You get going if you want. I'm nearly done". He told me.

"You sure"? I asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Get going". He told me, winking at me. "And thanks for tonight". He told me, as I grabbed my denim jacket and purse.

"Oh that's ok Enrique, you can thank me with my pay check". I laughed.

"Go on, get out of here". He laughed, flapping a dish towel at me.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer : I don't own owt so there!

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Chapter 5

I headed out of the café, into the now dark night. Street lamps shone brightly, lighting the way for me. It was about a 20 minute walk to get back to the dorms, but it never felt that long. It felt slightly weird walking by myself, normally Charlie, Portman and Julie would be with me, or at the very least Julie.

I wasn't really nervous, What was there to be nervous about? I had walked this way a million times before, I knew the route like the back of my hand. I did notice however that, I had put my cell phone in the chest pocket of my jacket, and I had left the button on the flap of my bag undone, and was mentally reminding myself that my pepper spray was in the front pocket.

I walked passed a group of young couples, obviously on their way to another club, 10.30 in New York was classed as still early. I smiled to myself as they passed giggling like school kids, reminding me of my own friends. After a while, the slight nervousness passed, and I grew more confident about being on my own.

I must have been about half way home, when I first heard the footsteps behind me. At first, I didn't think much of them, just thinking they were just someone heading my way coincidently. After 2 blocks, they were still behind, so as a last ditch effort, I went 2 blocks out of my way, before righting myself, back onto my original route. By now I was incredibly nervous, and I slowly went for my pepper spray. With a quick motion, I pulled my phone out of my pocket, my eyes however weren't focused on the screen, my fingers just pressed the down arrow, which led straight to my address book. I knew the first name was Adam's, and quickly pressed the call button.

I raised the phone to my ear, listening intently for his voice, hoping he would answer, and get Charlie or someone to come and meet me. I was so scared it was untrue. I could hear the ringing, cursing him to pick up. My hands were shaking, and my finger was poised over the nozzle of my pepper spray ready to use.

"Hello"? I heard.

"Adam". I struggled to find my voice.

"Connie, that you"?

"Yeah". I replied.

Suddenly the phone was knocked out of my hand, where it landed on the floor, and smashed through the force. The pepper spray was soon knocked out of my hand. I screamed and struggled as two arms wrapped around my waist and neck. I screamed and screamed, scared out of my wits. I was dragged into an ally, and pushed up against a wall, where something heavy hit me across the face. I continued screaming out of pure fear, then felt something strike me again.

"SHUT THE HELL UP"! A face came close to mine, shouting directly into my own face.

"I haven't got much, but take it". I mumbled, pushing my purse toward whoever it was.

"Maybe later". He hissed, grabbing my purse and tossing it into the middle of the ally.

I felt his hands start to roam down from my shoulders. Without thinking I kneed him in the groin, before trying to make a run for it. I almost reached the end of the ally, when I felt as though my hair was being ripped out. He'd grabbed hold of my hair and tugged me backwards. I screamed my lungs out, hoping and praying that someone could hear and come to rescue me.

"Feisty, I like that". He hissed, his breath reeking of booze.

"GET THE HELL OFF ME"! I screamed, tugging away from him, ignoring the pain he was causing by gripping my arm tightly.

I felt another punch across the same cheek, before being yet again shoved against a wall, the back of my head hitting the bricks behind me with force. My energy seemed to disappear with the realization that I couldn't get away from him. My stomach was in knots, knowing exactly what was coming. I closed my eyes tight, not wanting to see anything. I continued to try and struggle free, but my strength was gone. Hockey practice and work had really taken it's toll. I blanked everything out, the pain as he tugged at my clothes, ripping them with force.

It was all over within minutes. I fell to floor like a ton of bricks. I could hear his footsteps running back down the ally, pausing briefly to pick my purse up. I laid there a few minutes, realization hitting me and I began to cry. I wanted to be sick, and I felt bile rising in my throat. After another few minutes, I picked myself up, fastening my trousers, well just the zip as he'd broken the button. I pulled my jacket back over my shoulders, as I stumbled toward the entrance of the ally.

When I got closer, I could hear voices. Fear struck me, I thought he might be coming back, possibly with friends. I ran the best I could further back into the ally, hiding myself behind some trash cans. After a few seconds the voices got clearer then faded again. By now I was frozen on the spot, too scared to even attempt at going back out. As strange as it sounds, at that moment, I felt the safest place for me was hidden down the side of these trash cans out of sight.

I don't know how long I was there, but I knew I couldn't bring myself to get up, and be brave to get myself home. My thoughts drifted to Julie and the guys, wondering if they'd actually notice whether I'd come to the party or not, even though I said I probably wouldn't. I wondered whether Julie would notice I wasn't home, when she got home after the party. But then she probably wouldn't even go back to the dorm and go to Portman's instead. But Charlie, he might think to come check on me, or maybe if he knew Julie was staying with Portman, Fulton would stay in his, Adam and Guy's dorm, and he'd come over to our dorm.

Who was I kidding? None of them would notice me missing until the following day, and even then they'd probably just think I was working the early shift at work. It would only be when Enrique rang my dorm to ask why I hadn't come to work, that the alarm would be raised. But then again, why would he call, I wasn't meant to be working the following day, he'd given it me off, since I hadn't been able to have tonight.

God, this was hopeless, I wouldn't be found, I'd have to get myself home. I psyched myself up, trying to prepare myself to head home, my mantra becoming 'I would be ok'. I got as far as to my feet, before I collapsed in fear, hiding once again. I tried a few more times, before I finally gave in, wrapping my arms around my knee's, rocking back and forth, trying to calm myself.

Right ok, I know this is short, but if I lengthened it, nothing would really make sense, and the flow would disappear. So, anyways hope you enjoyed. PLEASE R&R!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

SARAH : I know, you can't help but feel sorry for her can you, lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

TARYN B : I dunno really, I just always have. I suppose you could call it one of my trade marks lol. It's just my way of saying thanks for reviewing and stuff. I'm glad you like the story, and hopefully you'll like this chapter just as much lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

ANNE918 : She's back ladies and gentlemen lol. You know, you might think I haven't noticed your lack of presence, but it hasn't gone un-noticed lol. Glad you back, hopefully with your crystal ball in tow lol. Hey, tell you what, one of my next stories is definitely going to be a Connie/Adam, I much prefer writing them lol. Anyways glad to have you back, thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

GOBLZ : Arr, can't tell you how chuffed I am, that you thought I handled that last chapter well. I was slightly worried about it lol. Anyways tanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

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SINBIN05 : I know, I love my cliff hangers lol. Yeah, she called Adam, but who knows whether he'll take the call seriously lol, he might just think she pressed the wrong button or something lol, who knows lol. Yeah, she went off route for a while, but then put herself back on route after 2 blocks, so they should be able to find her… that's if they go looking lol – I feel pretty cruel at the minute lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 6

ADAM'S P.O.V

We got to the party about 8pm. The dorm was absolutely bursting at the seams. Couples were spread all over the place, making out, and I knew it wouldn't be long until Portman and Julie were among them as well as any of the ducks who happened to successfully chat someone up. A few of the guys disappeared in different directions, but for the most part, we just seemed to hang around in a group. Personally, I thought it was a bit weird Connie not being with us, as she always livened things up. I suppose because she was dating my best friend, we'd become pretty close. Well I suppose we all were close, but I was much closer to her than Julie, for the simple reason I suppose I spent more time with Connie, and Julie was forever with Portman. Not that I was jealous or anything.

After a few beers, more of the ducks separated, dancing with a few girls. I myself, ended up dancing with a girl called Tina who was on the same team as Connie and Julie. In the middle of the 3rd song, I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, and the low murmur of my ring tone. I pulled it out of my pocket, excusing myself from Tina and heading to a quieter part of the house, which happened to be outside.

Before I answered it, I saw Connie's name flashing. The first thought that sprang to mind, was that she'd changed her mind, and was going to come after all. It never occurred to me why she was ringing me, instead of Charlie. It just seemed obvious that she was ringing me because she couldn't get hold of Charlie.

"Hello"? I answered the phone.

"Adam". She said, however her voice seemed a little off.

"Connie, that you"?

"Yeah". She replied, her voice coming out in a panicked tone.

Before she could say anymore, the phone went dead. I automatically looked at the screen thinking my phone's battery might have died. Nope, it wasn't my phone. I rang her back, but there was no answer, it just went straight to her voicemail. I don't know really what made me have a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I did. The fact she was calling at turned 10.30, when she should have finished work at about 8pm. And the fact her voice sounded slightly panicked worried me slightly.

I headed back into the party, searching the crowd for Charlie. When I found him, he was stood talking to Averman and Guy. I made a beeline for him, squeezing through people. Tina jumped in front of me, asking if I wanted to have another dance. I replied that I would later, and immediately she walked away, to find someone else to dance with.

"Charlie, has Connie tried calling you"? I asked as soon as I reached him. He passed me his beer, and dug in his pocket for his cell.

"No, why"? He replied, pushing his phone back in his pocket and taking his beer back.

"She's just rang me, but before she could say why, the phone went dead". I told him.

"Her battery probably died". He answered.

"Yeah, but she sounded worried, panicked even. And why would she be ringing me"? I asked.

I could see him beginning to think, and come up with less than what I had. He looked at me as if checking what he'd heard me say was correct. I nodded. He grabbed my arm, and headed outside. I could tell by the look on his face, he was now clearly worried. He pulled his phone out and tried calling her, even though I told him, it was just going to her voicemail.

"Right I'll check her room, she might have changed her mind and was just checking whether we were still at the party". He told me. "You check our room incase she's gone there, and we'll meet half way between the buildings". I nodded in agreement, as we set of running in the same direction, until we had to separate to go into the different buildings.

I ran up the stairs, hoping to find her stood at the end of the corridor, inserting change into the pay phone. She wasn't there, and I continued, letting myself into my room, just to check she hadn't let herself in to use the phone. Disappointment hit me when I didn't find her. I locked the door behind me, and headed back to meet Charlie, hoping he'd found her, and this was all one big misunderstanding that had erupted like a volcano.

I knew, as soon as I saw him jogging toward me, that he hadn't had any luck either. I suppose it was now, that I really got worried. It was 11pm, and she should be home by now. Different scenarios ran through my mind as to where she was, but I knew non of them could be right.

"What do we do"? I asked Charlie, as we just stood, trying to decide what to do.

"I dunno". He admitted, pinching the top of his nose. "Ok, I'll ring one of the ducks, ask them to look out for her, and to let us know if she turns up at the party. And we'll head in the route's she'd take home. If she worked overtime, she might still be at the café, wanting someone to walk her home".

"Ok, yeah. I'll take the north route, and you take the other, we'll meet at the café". He agreed and we took off, again separating when we needed to.

The north route, was probably the better of the two. It mainly stuck to the main roads, and though was the longer of the two routes, I had a feeling that if she had walked home, she'd have come along this one, since she'd more than likely be alone.

I was nearly at the café and loosing faith, Charlie hadn't called to let me know he'd found her, and I'd seen no sign of her. Hopefully she'd still be at the café, or had caught a cab home. I passed a few people, seemingly on their way home from a night out. After they'd rounded the corner I had just come round, everything went quiet again. I continued watching the pavement as I walked, but looking up every so often.

Without a thought, I stepped over an aerosol that was rolling back and forth gently. Then I saw it. A cell phone, or should I say, a shattered cell phone, laid next to the corner of a wall. I picked it up, looking at it intently. I tried switching it on, but nothing happened. I glanced over it, and it was then I noticed the phone itself. It was Connie's. The same make and model, however the case couldn't have been anyone but Connie's. Written all over the battery cover was 'C.M 4 C.C' and her jersey number along with 'DUCKS 4EVA'. Then I remembered the aerosol, was that Connie's too. I went back and picked it up, before aiming it at the wall, and spraying a little. It was pepper spray, the smell distinctive. I went back to the ally entrance where I had found the phone, looking up into the dark crevices.

"CONNIE". I shouted.

There was no reply, but on the off chance, I walked cautiously up, continually shouting her name. I walked all the way to the top, before finally deciding she can't have been up here. I turned around and headed back down. About half way down, I was startled by an ally cat and jumped to the side. That's when I saw her.

She was huddled into a corner behind some trash cans, her legs pulled into her chest protectively. She was shivering, and I could see the shine of her tears as they ran down her cheeks. Down one side of her face, swelling was clear, and there was a slight trickle of dried blood from her lower lip.

"Connie". I spoke again, stepping slightly closer. I was shocked to see her flinch away from me, as though I was going to strike her. "Hey, hey it's me Adam". I spoke softly, crouching so I was level with her.

She looked at me, as though she was unsure whether it really was me. It was only looking closer at her, that I noticed her jacket hanging slightly off one shoulder, and her clothing torn in a few places. The first thing that crossed my mind, was she'd been mugged.

"Are you ok"? I know pretty stupid question, but all I wanted was for her to say something, anything. As soon, as I'd spoke, she broke down in more tears. "It's ok. Shh. I'm gonna call Charlie, then we'll get you home". I said softly. She just looked at me.

I backed away slowly from her, and headed to the entrance of the ally, where I knew I'd have reception on my phone, and to find the exact position of the ally. The state Connie was in, was slightly un-nerving. I had never seen her so scared, yet defeated at the same time. I pulled my cell from my pocket, and found Charlie's number. I quickly rang him. His phone can't have rung more than twice, before he answered, by saying my name, panicked yet relieved.

"Charlie, I've found her". I almost whispered, not wanting Connie to overhear anything.

"Ok, I'll um, meet you back at the dorm". He told me, obviously more than relieved.

"No, um, Charlie, you might want to get yourself down here".

"Why? What's wrong? Is she ok"? Panic re-entered his voice.

"Well, um, I think she's been mugged. She's huddled behind some trash cans, scared stiff". I now felt panicked.

"Where are you"?

"Bernard street, there's an ally, just before the corner. You can't miss it". I told him, then the phone went dead.

I headed back up to Connie, who was still in the same position I had left her in. I went up to her carefully, letting her know it was me, before sitting next to her. As if on impulse, she flinched away from me. I couldn't understand why she was so scared of me, she knew I wouldn't hurt her. But I knew better than to push it, and just sat at her side, hoping me being there would help settle her. It can't have been 5 minutes, before I heard Charlie shout my name. Immediately on hearing his voice, Connie tensed up.

"Back here Charlie". I shouted. "Shh, Con, it's ok, it's just Charlie". I soothed her.

"Connie". Charlie rushed up to her. This time she really did flinch away from him, as though his touch could harm her permanently. "Hey, it's ok, no-one's gonna hurt you". He said gently, kneeling in front of her, so she could see him fully. "C'mon, let's get you home". He told her, as he stood and offered her his hand.

I stood beside him, as I watched as she hesitantly took his hand, and climbed tediously to her feet. She seemed almost a different person. She neither spoke or acted like the Connie I knew. It was as though her body had been taken over by an alien or something. I know it's a pretty out there thought, but that's the way she was acting.

All the way back to our dorm, she didn't mutter a word. She continually shivered, though I didn't think it was due to being cold. For the full journey, she jumped sky high at every little thing. Even when we'd got her back into our dorm room, she didn't settle. Every time myself or Charlie went near her, she moved sharply away from us.

"Connie, c'mon baby, you've gotta tell us what happened"? Charlie asked her gently, as he knelt in front of her.

"Here, drink this"? I offered her a hot chocolate.

She took it from my hands, and I watched as she struggled in keeping the cup steady in her hands, but she was shaking that hard, she was close to spilling it. I took it back off her, and put it on the bedside. I went and sat on my bed, taking in her appearance. She was sat, huddled up on Charlie's bed, as close to the wall as she could get. Her jacket still hung off one shoulder. Her clothing torn in numerous places. I began to think of anything imaginable that could have happened to her.

"Were you mugged"? Charlie asked her again, trying desperately to get anything out of her.

She shook her head, a fresh set of tears entering her eyes, as she obviously remembered everything that had happened. I could see the fear in her eyes, and I was sure it wasn't just fear about what she'd been through, but also what she _was_ going to have to go through.

"Baby, you gotta tell us, if you want us to help you". Charlie continued probing.

"I… I… c…can't". She cried, pulling her legs tighter to her chest.

I suppose it was the way she seemed so hesitant at telling us that really made me think. If she'd simply been mugged, she wouldn't have been so hesitant, so afraid. No it ran far deeper than that. Maybe someone had tried to mug her, but because she put up more of a fight, like I knew Connie would, maybe they'd got a bit rough with her, thrown a few punches, which would explain the state of her cheek. But even then, why would she be like this if she'd been attacked with a few punches. Attacked? It then all clicked. There was more than one type of assault. Mugging? Typical drunken rage? Fight? No, it was non of those, non of them really explained her behavior. Rape? No, that wasn't possible. Was it? It would explain why she wanted neither me or Charlie to touch or go near her. It would explain why she was hiding behind the trash cans. Obviously afraid of whoever coming back for her.

"Connie"? I climbed to my feet, and headed toward her, kneeling beside Charlie. "Were you… were… were you raped"? I asked hesitantly. Charlie looked at me ridiculously, but then his glance went to Connie. Obviously he began to think of it as a possibility. I so wanted the answer to be no, but, by the look on her face, I didn't think I was wrong.

She nodded her head breaking down into heavy tears. I felt a heavy weight being dropping into my stomach. I felt conflicted emotions boil inside. Guilty, because we'd been having a good time, while she'd been… been raped. Anger and rage at the guy who'd done it. Upset for Connie, who looked distraught by everything.

"Shh, baby it's ok. It's ok". Charlie immediately wrapped his arms around her protectively. He looked over his shoulder at me, a worried look showing in every feature of his face.

After a while, she slowly calmed down, and Charlie released her slightly. She looked tired, yet fighting sleep. It was then I realized it was 1am. I knew though, non of us would get any sleep. When she calmed further, Charlie gently asked her what happened. She seemed more than hesitant at first, but after gentle persuasion from us, she told us. By the time she'd gotten to round to telling us why she'd hidden behind the trash cans, She was nearly hysterical with tears again. Charlie had tears running down his cheeks, and tears threatened mine.

It got to the point where I couldn't bear it anymore, and gently told them I was going to get us all some soda and something to eat. I closed the door tightly behind myself, and slid down the wall until I was crouching. I buried my face in my hands, feeling all my emotions take over once again. I felt so helpless and weak, and there was Connie in there, needing her friends around her to be strong for her.

"Hey Cake-eater where'd you slip off to tonight"? Guy shouted from the end of the hall, though I didn't lift my head immediately.

"Oh, I see, you're on guard. The Spazway's getting some lovin'". Averman called.

I pinched my nose, trying to rid myself of the tears that filled my eyes. I slowly stood, and found all the ducks stood around me. I didn't say anything straight away, I suppose I was trying to think what to say to them.

"Adam? Adam what's wrong"? Julie sudden barged forward, from her position under Portman's arm. I tried to answer her, but I couldn't find the right words. "It's Connie isn't it? What's wrong"? She barged forward toward the door.

"No, Julie. You can't, you can't go in there". I told her.

"Cake-eater, you better tell us now, and talk fast"? Fulton told me.

"Not here". I told them.

Goldberg and Averman unlocked their dorm room for us, and we all filed in. I stood near the door, listening out incase Charlie needed or wanted anything. The ducks sat and stood around impatiently.

"C'mon Cake-eater, spit it out"! Guy told me.

"This isn't exactly easy to say you know". I spat back.

"Adam, please, just tell us? Is she hurt? What"? Julie almost begged.

"She is kinda hurt. Tonight, I got a call from her when we were at the party. Before she could say anything the phone went dead. So me and Charlie went looking for her. She wasn't in her dorm, or in ours, so we separated and walked the route's she'd have walked from work. I found her". I told them, then took a deep breath. "She was hiding behind some trash cans". Tears threatened my eyes again.

"What? Has she been mugged or something"? Dwayne asked.

"No". I answered simply. "She's been, um, she's been raped". I finally blurted it out.

"Raped"? Julie asked incredulously.

"Yeah", I answered.

"Oh my God". Julie started crying, and Portman was there quickly to comfort her.

"Is… Is she, um, ok"? Averman stuttered.

"Of course she's not ok you idiot, she's just been raped". Guy snapped.

"It's a simple question Guy. Of course we know she's not ok, but you know what he means". Fulton snapped in retaliation. "This isn't the time to turn on each other. She's gonna need us to be there for her".

"Sorry Ave's". Guy apologized.

"It's ok man. We're all a little shocked". Averman accepted the apology easily.

"So, um how is she"? Julie asked cautiously.

"Um, she's pretty messed up at the minute. She's scared more than anything else". I told them.

Looking around the room, I could tell the news was still very much sinking in. A few of them were rubbing their foreheads in thought, others just staring into space. Julie wiped a few tears away, trying to get herself together.

"I, I gotta go see her". Julie stood suddenly, heading for the door.

"Jules, no. Just leave her a little while". I said softly, blocking her path. "She's pretty freaked out at the minute. She's barely letting Charlie near her, let alone anyone else. I don't think any of us barging in there is gonna help". I tried explaining.

"And what makes you the expert"? Portman was obviously sticking up for Julie, who had backed away, nodding obviously in acceptance.

"Because I've seen the fucking state she's in. She's absolutely fucking petrified. Nothing can prepare you enough to see her like that". I blurted out harshly. "Because I've sat in that God damn room, listening to her, tell us exactly what happened, every sordid detail. You think that was easy for her… for us, the whole time thinking, if I react wrongly to anything she's saying, I'm gonna make things a million times harder for her". I felt all my emotions spilling out of me. "She's sat in that room, huddled on the bed, scared to death, jumping a mile whenever me or Charlie go near her or even move. Scared of feeling the way she is. You think you can cope with all that? Then be my guest"! I opened the door wide for whoever thought they could cope.

"Adam, it's ok man. We understand. We'll wait until she's ready to see us". Luis spoke softly.

I could tell what I'd just said shocked them. Maybe it was my sudden out burst, or maybe it was the realization of what I'd said, being true. I don't know, but either way, they seemed to accept that she'd need some space, and when, and only when she was ready, would they see her.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

MEME : I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm so grateful though, that you took the time to review anyway. It means so much. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

GRUMPYPIRATE : Glad your so eager to find out lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

ANNE918 : I can't believe you almost forgot your crystal ball, how could you? Lol. I think it's just a little out of practice, that's all, after another couple of chapters, it should be back on form lol. I loved Adam's little speech too, I thought I needed to put it in there since I'm feeling a little down with it not being an Adam/Connie fic lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

PUNKTEACHER : Arr thank you. Yeah, get back to your updating lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

JOANK : Arr thank you. Yeah I know what you mean, I'm trying to not let Connie get TOO melodramatic, I can't stand the thought of her being really needy all the time lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : Your keyboard broke, my mouse went funny the other night lol. Between us, we could probably build a really dodgy computer lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CAKEEATER : YAY! New reader (sirens go wild lol) I'm glad you're enjoying the story. You have a suspect all ready? Wow you work fast lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 7

CHARLIE'S P.O.V

This shouldn't be happening. Rape was something that happened to other people. Not someone you knew, not your girlfriend. Everything felt that little bit surreal. I didn't blame Connie for this, she couldn't have predicted or prevented this, anymore than I could. It didn't mean to say though, that my feelings toward her hadn't changed, because even though in a slight way, they had. She'd been through an ordeal, of which I would never understand.

Ok, so, it wasn't as though this unknown guy had taken her full innocence, we all knew that. Especially me. I would gladly stand up and say it was me that had taken her innocence. But she was also guilty of that with me. However, no matter how I looked at it, this unknown guy had taken something from her and not just the obvious.

I did feel different toward her now. Who wouldn't? I'm pretty sure Adam did, and when the other ducks found out, they would. It didn't mean to say though, that I wasn't going to stand by her. I loved her more than imaginable, and by no means, was I going to break up with her, for something she had no control over.

Just the way she was reacting to me now, flinching at every touch, backing away from me in fear. Would it always be this way? Every time I went near her, or went to kiss her, or hold her hand. Would she always flinch from me? Could I cope with that? If she ever did get over this, would she be the same girl I remember her as? No, she'd never be the same, she'd wouldn't be the head strong, independent, happy girl she once was. There'd always be that slight unease whenever she was around guys.

No matter what though, I was here to stay, I was going to fight her demons with her, all the way. My hand would be there ready for her to take, whenever she needed it. I wasn't going to let her down, I was going to be by her side throughout everything. A friendly face when she needed one. Someone for her to lean on, on her bad days, someone to push her along on her good days.

"Baby, you're gonna have to tell the cops". I finally whispered to her.

"No, no, I can't. They won't believe me. They'll just laugh in my face". She sat up straight, suddenly all tense. Tears entering her eyes once again.

"You can. I know you can". I took her hand in mine, squeezing it reassuringly.

"They won't believe me Charlie, they won't".

"Of course they'll believe you. What makes you think they wouldn't? They will take you seriously, I promise". I soothed her. "If you tell them, they might be able to catch this guy. While ever this guy is on the loose, he can do the same to other people. He could get Julie, or any of your team mates next". I told her. She nodded mutely, finally accepting what she needed to do. "That's my girl". I pulled her close, kissing her hair line. "I'm gonna go find Adam, and let him know". I told her.

"NO! Don't leave me". She shrieked in fear.

"I gotta let him know where we're going. I'll only be a few minutes, I promise. I'll even lock the door behind me". I gave her a last squeeze, before getting up and leaving.

On the way out, I made sure to lock the door noisily, so she knew I had done it. When I pulled my key out of the lock, I turned and lent against the wall, letting out a huge sigh. My body was screaming out for sleep, but I knew there was no way I would get any, even if I tried. Adam was no where in sight, and I began to think exactly where he might have gone. It was then, that I noticed Goldberg and Averman's dorm room, door slightly ajar. I headed that way, gently pushing open the door, to find, yes you've guessed it, all the ducks, sat around, solemn faces and all. I knew Adam had filled them in, which to be honest, I was grateful for.

"Charlie"! Guy noticed me first. "How is she man"?

"Um, pretty messed up at the minute. I've had to lock her in, that's how scared she is". I told them. "It's unbelievable really, how scared of _me_ she is". I rubbed my heavy eyes.

"How you doing"? Goldberg asked.

"Honestly"? I leant on the wall. "Pretty crap. I really, really just wanna put my fist through a wall. If I ever meet this guy, when I've done with him, he'll look like a mangled piece of shit". I sighed.

"What's gonna happen now then"? Julie asked.

I could tell by looking at her, that she'd been crying. I couldn't blame her, I too had cried many a tear over the past hour. I don't know whether it was because I was guilt ridden, or just too angry that crying seemed the only self controlled option I had left. I was trying desperately to keep control of the situation, well in all honesty, I was trying to regain a semblance of control, that truly didn't exist.

"I've um, just managed to talk her into going to the cops, so I'll probably take her down there. Then I have no idea what so ever. It isn't as though everything can go back to normal, it probably never will". I told them honestly.

"Don't talk like that Charlie". Ken said dismally.

"Why not, it's true isn't it"? I replied dejectedly. "She won't ever trust people the way she did. Hell, she might not be able to hang around with any of us comfortably ever again. She'll always be looking over her shoulder, shying away from people in fear". I felt my shoulders sag just in the thought.

"Then it's our job to make sure she doesn't feel the need to continually look over her shoulder". Adam replied, resting a heavy hand on my shoulder. "We're all gonna be here for her, neither of you are in this alone. Right guys".

There was a chorus of agreements. I felt slightly better. I suppose I had sub-consciously seeked the ducks company, for exactly that reason. They had this exceptional way of halving my problems, making them seem so minute, yet this time they failed, their support was all I needed.

Adam offered to go with us to the police department, and I accepted his gesture. The others said they'd stay where they were, and we'd to call them as soon as we knew anything. Both me and Adam, returned to our room, to find Connie, in exactly the same position as I had left her, though there were new tears present. We eventually, got her into Adam's car, and to my surprise, she huddled into me. Her grip on my hand was tight, and not once did she let go. It was as though, she'd suddenly realized, she needed me desperately.

Once in the Police department, and we had explained the situation, a young female officer, came, and after much coaxing, led her away from us. Both me and Adam, in turn were taken into an interview room, where our statements were taken. After we had each done that, we were left alone in the waiting room. The chairs were luckily comfy, and there was plenty of room. We sat furthest away from the door, looking out of the window into the night sky.

"How's it going"? Adam asked, when he returned with two black coffee's, handing me one.

"When did life get so complicated, huh Cake-eater"? I replied, taking a sip of coffee, then placing it on one of the coffee tables.

"Wish I had an answer for you Charlie, I really do". He answered, sounding as dejected as I felt.

There was a long silence between us. I could tell by the look on his face, he was trying to come up with something comforting to say, but there wasn't a thing he _could_ say, that would make this go away, or any easier and we both knew it.

"You know, when you left the room earlier, and I was trying to calm her down. You know what was on my mind"? I sudden broke the silence, having had enough of hearing, just the plug in heater in the corner whirring.

"What"?

"All the times we played out on the old pond. It only seems 5 minutes ago, that we just those 10 year olds, breaking all the rules, and having a good time doing it". If I closed my eyes, I could see us all clearly. "Weird really, how 10 years on, we're still doing the exact same thing".

"But with more trouble, as a consequence". Adam laughed. "You ever think all those years ago that, we'd still all be together now"?

"Sometimes I did. Other times not so much. I suppose I always knew I'd stay in touch with you and Connie, Averman, Guy, Fulton and Goldberg". I admitted. "As for the others, I used to, like to think so".

"Why were you so sure about the 6 of us staying in touch"?

"I dunno. I suppose without sounding stupid, but we're the originals, you know". I told him. "I mean now, I know we'll always stay in touch. But before Eden, I wasn't positive we would. For one my mom would have killed me, if I kept calling the out of state ducks".

We both laughed a little at the thought of my mom going ballistic, after seeing the phone bill, when there was calls to Maine, Chicago, Texas, Florida and L.A made regularly. I wouldn't be alive today if I had.

"We've had some good times, haven't we"? Adam stated.

"Yeah, we really have. Can you remember the summer before Eden and we went camping. That morning when we all woke up to find Portman still in bed, but the air bed was in the middle of the lake. And when Ken found that egg on the floor, and climbed that tree, to put it back in the nest, and was attacked by that bird". I was in reminiscent mode now.

"I actually have a confession about that. The night Portman ended up in the lake. I woke up and heard a noise. So I unzipped the tent and found Connie dragging the air bed out of Portman's tent. He'd been trying to scare her all day with bugs and the like. You remember"? I nodded.

I remembered that day clearly, she hadn't been scared of bugs, snakes and spiders, but he kept telling her there was a snake about to wrap itself around her leg. I knew then, that she'd get her revenge, but I never really suspected her of this.

"Well, she saw me, and she knew I'd caught her. I think she thought, I'd drop her in it at first, until she realized I wouldn't. Well I ended up helping her. I'm surprised you didn't hear us. We couldn't stop laughing, the whole way to the water".

"But Julie"?

"Yeah, I know Julie said, that he'd probably done it himself, because she'd heard him sleep walking the night before. I think she realized Connie had done it, and covered for her". I admitted. "To this day, I don't think Portman ever found out. In fact, I remember hearing him comment once, that no-one had ever caught him sleep walking before or after, the night in question".

"You ever think we'll be able to do things like that"? I asked.

"Course we will. We're getting older, but we'll never be _too_ old". He replied.

"No I mean with"…

"Yes". He answered confidently. "I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but she won't always be like she was tonight with us. She's just scared and upset".

"You really think that"? I asked, still slightly unsure myself.

"Yeah, I do. Ok, it's gonna be a long time, before she's over this, and I know she'll never be one hundred percent over it, but it will get better. You have to be strong for her Charlie. She's gonna need you to be her constant". He told me.

"What if I can't though". It felt like I had sudden just put my heart on my sleeve. Tears had re-entered my eyes, and my own insecurities and fears came into view.

"You can Charlie. I know you can". He pulled me into a hug, allowing me the opportunity to cry. "It's gonna be hard, I'm not gonna lie to you. But I'm gonna be right behind you every step of the way. The ducks too".

"Thanks Adam". I patted his shoulder, and pushed away from him slightly. "Thanks".

"Anytime".

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

GRUMPYPIRATE : Yeah that bit was rather funny lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

SWEEN : Arr thank you, that is so sweet of you to say. I do have to agree, this is one of my better ones, I think mainly because it deals with a subject matter, that more and more women AND men go through. You think the Coach did it huh? I never thought really how Orion would feel, I might have to put more thought into that lol. Thanks lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 8

There I had told them all, all the gory details. I had watched, as she noted anything significant down. Neither the doctor or the officer showed any emotion toward me, something of which I was thankful for. I think if they had given me pitiful glances I would have broken down more than I already have, and that was far too much as it was.

After being asked a few more questions, they showed me out, telling me they would contact me at some point. Adam and Charlie were sat in the waiting room, both looked physically tired. I then realized, they had waited this whole time. On seeing me, they both stood and headed to me. Charlie placed his arm around my shoulders, and without even wanting to, I flinched slightly. I don't know why I was, I knew neither of the men stood before me, would hurt me in anyway.

"You ok"? Charlie asked. "Sorry, dumb question". He said almost immediately.

"I feel a bit better". I answered.

They both led me outside, to where Adam's car awaited us. I climbed in the back seat, huddling up closer to Charlie, as he climbed in the other side. His arms wrapped protectively around me, and I suddenly felt that little bit more safe. In the following few seconds, I came to the decision, I _had_ to try and get on with my life, get over this. I'm not sure how I was planning on doing this, but the only thing I could think of, was trying to act as normally as possible.

I gently reached over, and took Charlie's hand in my own. I gave it a squeeze, before looking up into his deep blue eyes. He looked straight back at me, his eyes melting as our eyes met. I felt more and more safe with him, as the minutes passed. He mouthed the words' I love you', to me, and I smiled gently.

Eventually, Adam pulled up outside the dorms. I climbed out after Charlie, not letting go of his hand. They both started to lead the way, back to the guy's dorm, until I gently tugged on Charlie's arm. He turned, a worried expression on his face. I smiled as encouragingly as I could. Adam too, had turned, his expression almost matching Charlie's.

"I, um, I wanna say thank you. For tonight I mean. I, um, um, couldn't have gone to the cops without you". I stuttered.

"You don't need to thank us". Charlie replied. "C'mon, it's chilly out here". He was about to turn back around.

"I think, I'm, um, gonna go back to my dorm. I'm kinda tired". I muttered.

"You want us to come with you"? Adam asked.

"No, it's ok. I think I just wanna be on my own for a bit".

"I'll walk you". Charlie changed directions.

Adam bid us farewell, and we headed toward my dorm. Charlie's hand never left mine, every so often, he ran his thumb over the back of my hand. I was still very aware of the happenings around me. I imagined my eyes to look like those of a deer in the headlights of an on coming car. When we got to my room, we let ourselves in. I allowed Charlie to go in first, I suppose so he could check that the coast was clear, so to speak.

"You sure you want me to leave you"? He asked, after we'd entered and closed the door behind ourselves.

"No, but I, I have to". I answered.

"No, no you don't Con. I'll stay with you, for as long as it takes. If you're not ready to be left alone, then I'm not gonna leave your side". He replied confidently.

"I just want everything to go back to normal". I fought the emotion that took over me.

"Oh baby". He pulled me into him tightly. "It will, but you have to give yourself time. I promise, you won't always feel like this". He whispered into my hair. "I love you so, so much".

"I love you too". I wept in return.

We stayed like that for a while, just keeping him close to me. I was scared that if he saw me in full view, he'd see the dirt all over me, and want nothing to do with me. I was scared that he'd change his mind and feelings toward me. I was scared of a lot of things, but I was mostly scared of not having him around. I needed him more than I wanted or dared to admit.

Eventually, I let go of him, excusing myself so I could have a shower. It was about 5am, and I was physically and mentally drained, but I felt too dirty, and just needed to get clean. I went into the adjoining bathroom, closing the door behind me. I turned the shower on, the stripped of the scrubs I had been given by the police. Once under the spray from the shower, I let my tears fall. I could see the bruises on my arms clearly, reminding me of everything all over again. Almost immediately, I began scrubbing at my body, especially my arms, which were covered in bruises. I scrubbed so hard, small spots of blood started showing, then it became more of a trickle. It was then I realized what I was doing, and dropped the sponge into the floor of the cubical. I left my arms under the water, allowing the bleeding to stop slowly.

I felt nowhere near clean, but after seeing what I had done to my arms, I realized it was something that would take time. I dried off, and put my clean pajama's on, before heading out to Charlie. He was fast asleep on my bed. I suppose it was then, I realized he'd been through just as much as me tonight. I tip toed over to the door, and made sure it was locked and secure, before turning the lights out, and creeping under the bed sheets next to him. I felt so much more safer, knowing he was there. He was like my safety blanket, or shield, allowing me to forget about my insecurities.

A few hours later, I woke with a start, sitting bolt right up in bed. At first, I thought everything was all one big dream. I wasn't that lucky. Everything just seemed that bit more real, that it did earlier. I glanced at the bedside clock. 10.17am. Charlie yawned beside me, his eyes fluttering open.

"Con"? His hand rested on my back gently. "What's wrong"? He sat up slightly, leaning on one elbow.

"Nothing. I, um I just thought I was dreaming". I brought my knee's up to my chest, resting my forehead there.

"Oh Baby". He sat up fully, pulling me into him.

Sat there in his arms, I got to thinking about us. Sure he was here now, he wasn't backing away from me. But as of last night, everything had changed between us. He didn't need to say anything, I knew. I could read him like a book, he wasn't here because he wanted to be, he was here because he felt he _had_ to be. His duty if you like. I suppose had it been any other situation, I would have confronted him about it, told him I didn't want his pity company. But I needed him, needed him more than I ever needed anyone. He was the only sense of normality I had left.

"Listen Con. I have to go, it's nearly time for hockey practice. I'll find Julie, get her to come sit with you".

"It's ok. I don't need a babysitter". I pulled away slightly.

"I know you don't Con, but I'd feel happier if you had someone with you". He replied. "I'll see you later". He leant forward to kiss me slightly, but I instinctively pulled further away.

I could see the hurt enter his eyes, then it was replaced with understanding. He nodded gently, before climbing up, and letting himself out. After he closed the door behind himself, I scurried across the room, and locked it. I turned leaning against the door, and I suddenly felt ten times more vulnerable. In all honesty, I didn't want to be left alone, but I also wanted to get back to normal.

About 10 minutes later, there was a gentle knock at the door. Then Julie's voice telling me it was only her. I hesitantly unlocked the door, allowing her entrance. When she came in, she looked at me sympathetically. It was all that was needed to cause some tears from me.

"Come here". She opened her arms and wrapped them tightly around me. "Everything's going to be ok. You hear me, it's gonna be fine". She lead me to my bed and sat beside me. "You're gonna get through this, and I'm gonna be right there with you". She soothed gently.

"Jules I'm scared. What if I can't? I can't barely let Charlie touch me, without flinching away". I wept. "Everything's changed between us now. I'm not the same person I was to him".

"Course it hasn't. It's just a little weird at the moment, because he's sorta treading on egg shells around you, because he loves you, and doesn't want to hurt you anymore than you are already". She told me. "You both just need a little time to sort everything out in your own heads".

"It's not just him though Jules. Everyone's gonna look at me differently now. They're all gonna treat me different. Scared of saying anything in case it hurts 'poor little Connie's' feelings. I don't want to keep being reminded. I just want to forget, get on with my life. But I can't". I wept, allowing all my fears to pour out. Things I couldn't tell Charlie, because he wouldn't understand like Julie would.

"Connie, you have to give yourself time. You're not gonna forget over night. It will get better, and easier. Non of us think any less of you. We certainly don't think you're weak. Me, Charlie and the Ducks love you, and are gonna be here for you, all the way, just remember that". She hugged me, her hand running through my short brunette hair.

"Thank you". I mumbled.

So what do you think? I know it was a bit crappy at the side of my other chapters, but this was incredibly hard to write lol. Anyways PLEASE R&R!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

XSARAH : Arr thank you lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

GRUMPYPIRATE : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

SUNSTAR6 : Hey, I'm really glad you like it. I was originally worried that I wouldn't be able to pull it off, with it being something so… so brutal shall we say lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

GOBLZ : Arr, my eyes are all watery now, you think it's realistic, arr bless ya lol – sorry I'm tired lol. I'm glad you think Connie's feelings are realistic though, because I was worried that I'd come across as a bit too much 'damsel in distress' if you like lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 9

A few days had passed, and although I had been told an uncountable amount of times, that everything was going to be ok, and no-one would look at me any different, I still very much believed differently. An example of this, was when I saw the ducks after their practice a few afternoons ago. All seemed concerned, of which they were, there was no doubting that. But they all treat me as though I was some fine china, that could break at any given second. I suppose their odd behavior toward me, could be down to the fact, they didn't really have the first clue how to act around me.

The change in Charlie hadn't gone un-noticed either. He seemed more than hesitant around me. Treading carefully around his words, hesitantly hugging me. Before he'd take my hand in his own all the time, hold me close to him whenever possible, but now, he seemed happier keeping his distance.

I wasn't as jittery as I had been, but I was still cautious, and jumped at the odd thing. I hadn't really left my dorm, and I hadn't really faced any complete strangers, of which I wasn't exactly eager to do anyway. Julie had called Enrique for me, and explained that I had to take a leave of absence from work, but hadn't told him exactly why. I had only skipped one practice, and I was sure if I missed many more, I would have Coach Ramsden, banging on my door.

The previous day, I had, had Orion at my door, his face showing an emotion I had never seen. He came in, and sat facing me. He talked quietly to me, telling me, if ever I needed something, that I could go to him. He also told me he'd get me out of practice for a few weeks. I nodded my thanks to him, and as he was leaving, I even let him hug me tightly.

Throughout all this, Julie had been my rock. She'd sat and cried with me over the passed few evenings, watching chick flicks and stuffing ourselves silly with junk food. She seemed to understand how I was feeling, without having to be told. She knew when to give me space, and when I wanted her close.

"Hello"? She reached over for the phone from her position next to me on my bed. "Can I ask whose calling"? She listened to the answer, then placed her hand over the mouth piece, mouthing it was the police.

"Hello"? I asked nervously.

"Is that Connie Moreau speaking"? I was asked.

"Yes". I answered.

"This is Theresa West. The Doctor from the police department". She stated. "I was just wondering, if you were available to come down to the department possibly this afternoon"?

"Um, yeah, I suppose so. Why"?

"It's nothing too serious, it's just we have some test results back".

"Ok, yeah". I replied.

"That's great. See you later then. Bye". And with that she put the phone down.

I too put the phone back on it's hook. I was a little confused by the phone call. I hadn't known they were going to be doing any sort of tests. Well they might have told me, and I forgot, or wasn't paying any particular attention to them.

"Everything ok"? Julie asked from my side.

"Um, I dunno. I've gotta go down to the police department this afternoon. They've got some of my test results back". I replied.

"They might know, you know, who did it". She suggested.

As soon as she said it, panic struck me. What if they wanted me to do a line up. I wasn't sure whether I could face up to that. To see the man who had put me through hell, all over again. The earth had just settled, to come face to face with him again, would be just like turning over the soil, exposing it to everything all over again.

"I… I… D…don't think… I… c… can". I stuttered, scrambling to my feet and pacing the room. Tears stung my eyes, and began to fall freely.

"Con, it's ok. Shh, shh it's ok". Julie climbed to her feet, and went to hug me.

"No… I… I can't. I… I… I don't want to". I began really panicking now.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want Connie. They can't force you into a thing". Julie told me.

"But… but… what if… what if he's… he might be there". My breathing was rapid, and I began to pace the room.

"He won't be. And, and that's a big and, they won't let him anywhere near you. I won't let him anywhere near you". She said confidently.

"I… I can't do it".

"Hey ladies, we were just wondering"… Portman walked in slowly. "What's wrong"? He asked looking at me steadily.

"The police department just called, they want her to go in, they've got the results of some tests. She thinks she's gonna have to see… you know". Julie filled him in.

"H… he'll know. He… he'll know it's… it's me". My hands were shaking, but on further notice, so was my whole body.

"No, no he won't Con. They police wouldn't put you in danger". Julie countered.

No matter what she said, it wouldn't convince me of going down there. Just the thought of him possibly being in the same building scared me to death. I didn't care that there would be a hundred cops around, the fact that he was there was too much.

CHARLIE'S P.O.V

I was sat in the common room with the other ducks. We'd sent Portman up to the girls room, to see if they wanted to come down and watch a film with us. Things between me and Connie were anything but normal. I was cautious around her, sometimes maybe too cautious. I wanted to hold her close, kiss her and comfort her, but a voice in the back of my mind kept reminding me, she might feel threatened by me, whether she wanted to or not. Things had changed between us, and as much as I wanted to pretend they hadn't, it was getting too much to ignore. Even Adam had noticed, and although he had told me it was just the situation we were in, and once she started feeling more confident, things would slowly go back to normal, though I wasn't one hundred percent convinced.

"Doctor I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's". Averman began telling us another corny joke. "Well you can't say 'fairer than that then'". Averman cracked up, and we all moaned. "What goes aaaaaaa"? He asked.

"I don't know Ave's". I replied.

"A sheep with no lips". He answered proudly. We all moaned, and laughed at the sadness of the jokes.

"Where the hell do you get these pitiful jokes from". Russ continued laughing, not really at the joke.

"Charlie". I heard my name.

"Yeah"? I turned to find Portman stood in the doorway, his face was serious.

"We could use you for a few minutes". He told me. I knew it was something about Connie.

"What's up"? I began climbing to my feet.

"Connie's kinda climbing the walls. The cops have just called, they've got some test results back or something". He replied as I ran up the stairs beside him. "She thinks that she's gonna have to see him". He told me.

I knew then, that the state Connie would be in, would be worse than my original thought. I walked through their door, and found Connie pacing erratically, with Julie trying to calm her down. She was shaking from head to foot, her breathing rapid and short. She looked like she'd seen a ghost, her skin pale and sweaty.

"Hey, hey, c'mon Con, calm down, it's ok". I went straight to her.

"I can't do it, I can't do it Charlie". She said sharply.

"It's ok, no-one's gonna force you to do anything". I said soothingly, trying to keep her still, but even I couldn't stop her pacing. It was obvious she'd got herself into that much of a state, she wasn't sure herself what she was doing.

"What if… what if he's there"? Her words were short and sharp.

"Baby, forget about that right now. You don't have to go down there". I tried again.

To be honest, I wasn't sure what to do for the best. I wanted and needed her to calm down. She was doing herself no good getting into this state. But because she was panicking, it was clear, my words of comfort weren't really registering. In her mind, she was probably under the illusion that she _had_ to go down to the police department.

"Portman, go get Orion". I told him. "Jules, can you get me a glass of cold water"?

I dragged her to her bed and made her sit down. Her hands were shaking rapidly, and her breathing was getting worse. Julie brought the glass of water and handed it to her. She took it off her, but her hands couldn't hold it steady, and it easily fell from her grip.

"Oh God. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry". She began panicking about the spilt water.

"Baby, it's water, it's ok". I told her moving the glass from the floor.

I looked around for anything, anything to help calm her. I needed another tactic, and when I saw the window, I immediately stood up and opened it, allowing fresh air to circulate the room. Julie got her another glass of water, but put a straw in it. I held the glass and offered her the straw. She took a few sips, but continued panicking. I knelt on the floor in front of her, feeling the water that had spilt, soaking through the knee's of my pants. Tears continued pouring down her cheeks, and I could see fear in her eyes.

"Connie, Charlie". Orion entered the room. He took one look at Connie's state and turned back to Julie. "Can you get me a paper bag or something similar". He asked her, and she nodded. "Ok, Connie, it's ok". He came and sat by her side, looking me in the eye.

I could see the worry etch every feature of his face. To be honest, these passed few days, I don't know what I'd have done without Orion. He'd been _my_ shoulder to cry on, telling him the fears I had, that I couldn't tell Adam, Connie or the ducks.

"Take slow deep breaths for me". His voice was even, soothing.

Julie returned with a brown bag, and handed it to him. Without being asked, she left the room to give Connie some space. No doubt she wouldn't be far away, but for now, I suppose the less people looking at her, the easier it was for her to calm down.

"Connie, I want you to breath into here ok, nice and steady". Orion told her, hold the paper bag up to her face.

Slowly but surely, her breathing steadied, but she continued to cry. Eventually she had calmed enough for Orion to take away the bag. I was dying to ask her exactly what the cops had said, but for fear of panicking her again, I kept my mouth shut, hoping Orion would gently probe the details from her.

"I can't go down there". She cried, but she didn't freak out anymore.

"Go where"? Orion asked her gently.

"The police department called. They've got some of my test results back. What if… what if they know who it was"? She cried a bit harder with fear.

"Ok, it's ok Connie. Are you scared that he's going to be there"? Orion asked. She nodded gently. "If they know you're going, they wouldn't allow him to be anywhere near. I promise. They probably don't want you to go down there, for what you think they do".

"But what if he's there"?

"He won't be anywhere near you. They'll make sure of that".

Eventually we convinced her to still go down there, but only if we were both there with her. I knew she was petrified of going down there, whether or not he was there. I think what was freaking her out the most was the whole test result saga. She was scared they'd tell her something she didn't want to know. To be honest, I too was scared for that same reason.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer : I don't own a thing so there!

CAKEEATER : I know, you can't help but feel for them both can you lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

A : What's a mis-nomer? I've never heard of that before, or in my case, my English teacher probably tried to teach it me, but I wasn't probably paying attention that day lol(not that I ever was) lol (kidding) lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

GRUMPYPIRATE : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 10

CHARLIE'S P.O.V

We finally got her down to the police department. Orion was walking on one side of her, and I was at her other side. She was shaking like a leaf, though Orion's steady talking kept her more calm. Once inside, we were shown into a private room. We tried to get her to sit down, but she wouldn't and continued to pace the floor. I watched her, feeling my heart literally ache. I felt powerless, here I was, watching Orion keep her calm. That should be me, I should be the strong one, telling her all the things she wanted to hear, yet I couldn't bring myself to take over.

I felt as though I was being torn in half. Half of me, telling myself to be a man, do the decent thing and work through all this with her. The other half, just wanting to run and hide and wait until it was all over, before coming back into the open. I look at her, and my heart melts, I physically and mentally love her more than imaginable, but then my brain goes into over time and memories flood through my system, making me feel sick. My emotions were continually conflicting.

"Hi Connie. How are you"? A young slightly tanned young woman walked into the room, carrying a folder. "Hi, I'm Theresa West". She introduced herself. "You must be Charlie, right". I nodded. "And you're"… She shook Orion's hand.

"Ted Orion, Head Coach at the university".

"Ah, yes, I think Connie mentioned you". She smiled.

The whole time introductions and pleasantries were made, Connie stood there, looking pretty vacant. I could tell she was just wanting to get the hell out of there, and the longer this Theresa talked, the longer we'd be there.

"Right, um, Connie. We can talk privately if you want, or we can talk where we are, it's totally up to you"? Connie shrugged in response.

"Here's fine". She muttered.

"Ok, shall we take a seat"? Theresa gestured toward the seats provided, sitting across from Connie, trying to keep the small eye contact they had. "Right, as with all these kind of cases, the swabs we took from the internal examinations, were taken away to be tested".

I physically winced when the words 'internal examinations', fell from her mouth. It wasn't because I was shocked by this, it was more to do with actually realizing, Connie had, had to go through that. It sounded humiliating especially in front of me and Orion. It was now, I realized Connie had been through so much more than the raping, she'd had to endure the questioning, the examinations, everything on her own.

"We test them obviously for any indication of who the attacker was, but we also test them for any possible STD's that may have been passed on".

I heard Connie inhale a sharp breath beside me. I reached over and took her hand under the table, giving it an encouraging squeeze. Connie catching a sexually transmitted disease had never crossed my mind, it certainly was now though.

"Anyone with an active sex life has a 50 percent chance of catching an STD, however in these kind of cases the odds jump higher and"… She began the long drawn out explanation that I neither needed or wanted to hear.

"Have I, or haven't I"? Connie snapped sharply.

Theresa, momentarily shocked at Connie's outburst, opened the folder, pulling out one sheet of paper. She pushed it in front of Connie. I looked, but couldn't understand any of the gibberish that was written all over it.

"No, you are all clear". She told us.

As soon as her words registered, I pulled Connie into my chest, planting a kiss on her temple. I felt relief wash over me, yet the fact that this was far from over, staying with me. But at this moment, I couldn't care less. She was in the clear, and that was all that mattered. Theresa smiled broadly at us, obviously glad that her news was not bad. She quickly explained all the gibberish that was on the sheet, but I paid non of it any attention, all that mattered was the fact, she was in the clear. To say I hadn't even given the chance of her catching an STD any thought, I was pretty made up that she was clear. The only reasons I could come up with for my sudden relief, was that it was one less thing to have to be contemplating later on.

Shortly after, we left. Connie had been silent since her outburst, she occasionally nodded her head in agreement or to tell she understood what Theresa was saying. We drove back to the dorms in silence, and I couldn't help but feel tense by the awkwardness.

"Thanks Coach". Connie thanked Orion, as she climbed from his car, and rushed toward the entrance of the building.

"Yeah, thanks for everything Coach". I began to get out, my eyes staring after Connie.

"You're welcome". He smiled warmly at me, as I opened the door. "And Charlie". I turned to face him. "Don't give up on her, I know things are a little difficult and weird between you at the moment, but you need each other". He told me.

"Thanks". I climbed out.

"Anytime. If ever you want to talk, you know where I am". He told me, then drove off.

Maybe I did need to talk to him. Maybe if I could just empty my feelings out of myself, then maybe I could begin to try and deal with everything. I mean I had spoken both with Orion and Adam over the passed few days, but I hadn't completely spilled my heart out to either of them, scared I suppose because they'd think me weak or be ashamed of my feelings.

A few days after, Connie started stepping slowly back into her old routine, attending a few classes, trying to merge back into her previous lifestyle. I tried to be there for her as much as possible, but it seemed on my bad days, she needed me more, and on my good days, she wanted little to do with me. Our feelings were conflicting with each other, as much as our own were already.

"Hey Con". I shouted, as I ran after her and Julie as they walked down the corridor. "Hi Jules". I greeted her.

"Hi Charlie". She returned, then stepped away for a few seconds.

"What's up Charlie"? She asked me, thankfully it seemed I had caught her in a good mood.

"Well, I was wondering whether you wanted someone to walk back to the dorms with after classes, since Julie's got practice and everything"? I asked gently.

"Actually, I'm ok thanks. I've decided to go to practice". She told me.

At that second, it felt as though the old Connie had returned, and no-one was as happy about that as me. I couldn't help but think, however, that this was a pretty big step to take. Ramsden didn't know about her real reason for her absence, as far as he knew, she hadn't been on campus, she'd gone home due to a family emergency.

"You sure about that. I mean Ramsden's not exactly gonna be easy on you or anything". I forewarned.

"I don't need him to be Charlie". She told me defiantly. "I just want to get back to normal. I'm tired of dragging this whole thing out".

"Ok, I'll see you later then". I told her, still slightly worried by her sudden change in attitude. "Have fun". I even bent over, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"You too". Then she headed toward Julie, and continued her original path down the corridor.

I watched her go. To be honest, I was slightly baffled by the sudden change in her attitude. One minute, she was trying to get on with her life, yet having her bad days. But today, it was just like seeing the old Connie back. The confident, happy go lucky, pummel a guy who even thinks girls can't play hockey, Connie. The Connie I had fallen in love with. Not that I wasn't happy, because God, I was ecstatic for her, and with her, but I just had this odd feeling that told me not to get my hopes up too much.

"She seems pretty happy today". Adam stated, coming up behind me.

"Mmm, maybe a little too happy". I responded.

"How'd you mean"? Adam looked at me quizzically.

"I dunno, I just have this funny feeling. It's just a sudden change in her attitude. She just told me she just wants to get back to normal. She's been saying that for a few days now, but today, she suddenly is".

"Maybe she just decided to get on with it". He replied.

"Maybe". I answered.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

MEME-ANN : I suppose I'm glad curiosity got the better of you lol. I know, I can't even begin to imagine what Connie's going through, and I hope I never have to find out. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : Lol, glad to know that your glad she's clear lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CAKEEATER : I wouldn't say she's got away with nothing, I mean lets face it, she might not have caught anything from him, but he's certainly given her something or taken something from her whichever way you wanna look at it. Anyways, thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 11

Today seemed like a new day for me. I don't know, but something just seemed to click into place. Maybe Jen's words were finally making sense. You might be wondering who Jen is. Jen, is Jen Witter, the counselor I had been seeing secretly. I've been to see her about twice, whenever I had a class that no other duck was in. We would just sit and talk for a few hours, and she never once made me feel as though she was analyzing me. She listened and gave advice like a friend, though she was much easier to talk to, because she wasn't as friend.

She had suggested going to a self defense class to try and make me feel more confident. At first I was unsure, but after she had given me the leaflet of where the classes were held and the times, I warmed to the idea. I was planning on asking Julie after practice to go with me, and possibly some of the girls from the team, I suppose to make it look like my rape wasn't the only reason I was wanting to attend.

Things with Charlie were no better. He walked on egg shells around me, well so did the others, but I could take it more from them. I began to think he was saw me differently now. I couldn't quite blame him, I saw me differently, so why wouldn't he.

"Jules, have you noticed Charlie behaving differently toward me, since, well you know"? I asked her, as we sat in the quad. We had a spare hour before our next class.

"How'd you mean, different"? She asked.

"I don't know. It's just, maybe it's me, but he seems distant. I mean compare our relationship before, to how it is now".

"Ahh, the whole non physical emotion you two have going at the moment"? She answered, and I nodded gently. "It's hard for him Con's. I know it's hard for you too, but Charlie, he's just, he's trying to be there for you, and deal with his own feelings". She spoke softly, as though she was trying the gentle, gentle approach. "It's just, Charlie has this whole, protectiveness gig going, over us all really, especially you, but he wasn't able to protect you from this".

"But that doesn't explain why he doesn't hold me or kiss me, like he used to anymore".

"Look, you've been through something, that non of us can begin to imagine. Non of us want to make you feel threatened, so Charlie or any decent guy you happen to be dating, would back off for a while".

"Do you really think that's all it is"? I asked her, feeling a little dubious myself.

"Definitely. You watch, give him a few weeks, he'll be back to the old, over protective, head strong Charlie that we all know and love". She told me confidently. "So anyway, you really think you're ready to face Ramsden again"? She asked, a slight giggle present in her voice.

"Will I ever"? I let a small laugh escape. "I think I need to do this though. I just want to get on with my life, stop brooding over the past. I need to let go, otherwise it'll just keep eating me alive". I sounded so much like Jen it was untrue.

"Now that's more like it". Julie smiled triumphantly. I'm sure she thought this whole change in attitude was down to her, after all the evenings she'd sat and talked about nonsense with me. I decided to just let her take the credit.

Though her reasoning for Charlie's odd behavior was more than reasonable, I couldn't help but think, that maybe, he would never treat me like he used to. I didn't want him to be always thinking, that he had to be cautious around me. I couldn't live like that, I didn't want to live like that.

The day stumbled on, and before I knew it, I was walking into the ice arena with Julie by my side, nattering on about how Portman said this and Portman said that. I had long ago learnt that those two were like water and oil most of the time, but they somehow made everything work between them. To be honest, I was slightly nervous, I had never been a particularly good liar, and I knew if Ramsden asked more questions, whilst staring at me with those cold hard eyes, I would crumble.

"You sure you want to do this"? Julie asked, obviously having picked up on my hesitance.

"Yeah. I'll be fine once I'm out on the ice". She looked at me skeptically. "I promise". I vowed.

We walked into the changing rooms, but our presence was barely noticed. A few of the girls asked how we were, but non made a big deal over my absence from the past few practices. It was quite nice listening to the gossip that was circulating the room. It made me feel that little bit more at ease. The chatter continued, as we made our way onto the ice.

It was kind of relaxing to get back into my old routine. We started our warm ups, doing the usual 10 laps and stretches. For the first time in a while, I felt a smile spread onto my face and stay there. After all that, we heard Ramsden's whistle and his order to 'take a knee'. We each skated further toward him, before resting on one knee. I felt a little intimidated by this at first, knowing if Ramsden came near me, he'd be towering over me. I glanced around the other girls, immediately catching Julie's gaze. She smiled gently, winking at me, as if letting me know, I was ok.

"Ahh, Moreau, you're back. I hope you haven't been slacking off while you've been away". I didn't bother answering him, and he immediately continued with his droned out lecture that he gave every single practice.

For the first half of practice, we worked on shooting and defense, having Ramsden continually criticize our every move, even if we had done something right. In away it was good to just get back to normal, though I was continually aware of Ramsden's presence, and tried to maintain a good distance. The second half again did he declare we were to have a game. Dread filled my body immediately, the last 'game' we'd played in practice ended up a disaster.

While we were stood getting into our teams, I noticed the ducks wander in, heading straight for their changing rooms. I noticed Charlie stop momentarily, as if to check I was still there, then move on, following the ducks. We separated into our teams and began the game.

I knew my game was off, normally I'd challenge everyone, steal the puck easily, but I don't know, I just couldn't pluck up the courage to get in the other girl's faces. I felt intimidated and I knew it, but it was like a chain mail, I just couldn't stop it. I heard my name being mentioned a number of times, telling me to be more aggressive. Suddenly the whistle blew and I was hoping it meant the end of practice. I'd had enough, I really didn't want to be there any longer.

"MOREAU! Get over here". I physically jumped at my name.

My heart was beating wildly, my hands began to shake rapidly, though I knew they would go unseen because of my gloves. I felt sick, nervous. This time a smile and a wink from Julie wouldn't help. I skated as slow as I could get away with, over to Ramsden. I stood next to the boards, facing him, yet almost cowering away from him.

"Did you forget how to play decent hockey while you away"? He spat bitterly. "I've counted 5 easy situation's when you could have taken that puck, yet you stood there and let them skate all over you". His voice was hard. "You'd better start playing you best Moreau, otherwise you'll end up on the bench. You got me". He leant forward and hissed into my face.

Panic really hit home then. I began having flashbacks to the night, I was attacked. The way my attacker hissed and spat his words into my face. I knew I was cowering, but couldn't force myself not too.

"I said have you got me". He shouted in my face.

That was it, within a split second, I was skating as fast as my legs would to the exit of the rink. I could hear Ramsden shouting after me, but nothing could stop me now. I dashed into the changing room, ripping my skates and gear off, replacing them with my jeans and shirt. I can't have been in there more than a minute, before I was dashing panicked out of the arena. I don't know what was driving me to run, blind panic I suppose, the need to get away from him, running from myself.

I don't really know where I was running too. I was simply just running, thought hadn't entered the equation. I slowly started to wear down, puffing and panting until I couldn't puff and pant anymore. I stopped near and tree, leaning on it, trying to catch my breath. I slid to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees and hiding my face in my arms.

What was the matter with me? When was I going to be normal again? I was tired of running, yet I was too scared to do anything else. I mean the old Connie would have yelled back at Ramsden, argued that I was playing my best, challenged his every word. But I couldn't. I couldn't even stand my ground against him. I'd had to run. I'd never been a push over, but it seems that these days, being a push over was what I did best.

JULIE'S P.O.V

I watched a lump in my throat as Connie shot out of the arena, faster than a speeding bullet. I was afraid of something like this happening. Afraid that Ramsden would get in her face, and make her run. I felt anger rise, I already hated Ramsden, but now he'd given me an even bigger reason to hate him. He'd shouted after her, but when she continued running, he turned, and let out a chuckle, before making a comment about knowing she'd never hack it. I made a beeline for him, ripping my helmet from my head. I vaguely heard a few of the girls hissing at me not to bother, but I didn't listen.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO HER"? I stopped abruptly in front of him.

"Excuse me"! He looked a little shocked at me. "Gaffney, get back in goal, this is nothing to do with you". He hissed in my face.

"I beg to differ. My best friend has just run out of here, scared stiff. Do you have any idea what she's been through these passed few weeks. How many nights I've sat up with her while she cries her heart out"? I yelled. "And you, you single handedly"…

"GAFFNEY, GET BACK IN GOAL". He yelled.

"You're a jerk, you know that. Do you know how much it took her to come back in here and face you, after being raped, huh do you"? I screamed.

"Raped"? A few of the girls muttered in shock. I knew then, that I'd let the cat out of the bag.

"Gaffney, what are you talking about. Connie went home for a family emergency". Ramsden softened slightly, though his voice still had that harsh tone. I sighed, hating myself for opening my big mouth.

"No, that's just what Orion told you, because she didn't want everyone to know. She was raped on her way home from work over a week ago. That's why she ran, after you got in her face". I explained loosely. "I gotta… I gotta go find her". I skated quickly off the ice, heading straight for the changing rooms. "CONNIE"! I shouted on my entrance, hoping she was just cowering in a corner.

Her hockey gear was strewn all over the floor, her clothes were all missing. I quickly followed suite and changed my clothes, before dashing back out. I ran around the corner, not really looking where I was going, and crashing into one of the girls. They all started talking at me, but I ignored them and continued running, I ran through the ducks, who were just heading for the ice. Dwayne the last one in line grabbed my arm, swinging me back toward them, nearly pulling him over in the process.

"Jules, what's wrong"? Portman was at my side immediately.

"Where's Connie"? Charlie asked suddenly.

"Ramsden got in her face, and she made a run for it". I told them.

"Great, I knew she wasn't ready". Charlie replied fiercely. "Guy's just tell Coach, I've gone to look for her". He turned to head back to the changing rooms.

"There's no need. I heard". Orion was stood slightly behind us. "C'mon, we'll all go look for her". He turned.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer : I don't own a thing so there!

CAKEEATER : I know Julie was pretty nice in that chapter wasn't she. Slip of the tongue really that she let it slip, but never mind, worse things in the world could happen lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : If you've been bad at reading/reviewing, then I've been terrible at updating lol. 2 weeks, can you believe it's been that long since I put chapter 11 up. I'm totally gonna blame this one on my computer, since our anti virus thingy mi bob needed renewing or something like that lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

ANNE918 : Arr I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. You don't know how much your comment about the story being very realistic, made me smile lol – yes I'm extremely sad lol. I will definitely keep your request for an Adam/Julie or Adam/Connie fic in mind, though I do think it'll end up being the latter lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

_**DEDICATED TO VINCENT LARUSSO WHO IS 27 TODAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINCENT! lol**_

Chapter 12

CHARLIE'S P.O.V

I exited the changing rooms, after changing from my hockey gear back into my street clothes, to see Orion stood leaning on the Plexiglas talking to Ramsden. It was obvious they were speaking about Connie, by the serious expressions on both their faces. I was just hoping and praying that Orion was excusing Connie's behavior and not telling him the real reason.

"He already knows Charlie". Julie came up behind me.

"How? How does he"? I spun round.

"I kinda accidentally let it slip, when Connie ran". She admitted guiltily.

"Julie you didn't. I sighed.

"I'm sorry, but I was angry with him. I didn't mean to". She bit her lip.

"It's ok, don't worry about it. Ramsden's the least of our worries". I answered.

A few minutes later, we were all stood just outside the changing rooms. Orion filed us in on what Ramsden had said had happened, and Julie agreed, that, his versions of things were correct. It wasn't what he'd said, it was the fact he'd gotten in her face, and she'd simply run away, probably with fear.

I wasn't eager to find Connie because I thought she'd do something stupid, It was simply because I was worried about her. She was jumpy walking through the college halls, let alone out in the open. Every one went there separate ways except for Julie, who we all agreed needed to stay with someone, and as I expected she went off with Portman.

I walked off campus with Adam, Averman, Ken and Fulton. The others were checking the campus thoroughly before making their way off campus. Hopefully, someone would have found her by then. We all had our cell phones so we could keep in touch, and were to let at least one of us know when Connie was safe.

"Charlie". I turned to find myself face to face with Tasha, one of Connie and Julie's team mates. "I'm sorry about Connie. Tell her we're all behind her".

"Thanks". I said slightly shocked, as she walked off.

"I take that the whole team now know". Ken stated.

"Great, this is just fucking _great_". I sighed. "The whole bloody campus will know by this time tomorrow". I felt anger rising. "Why'd Julie have to open her mouth to Ramsden, especially in front of the team". I ranted as we continued walking.

"Charlie, she didn't mean to. Let's just take one problem at a time ok". Adam told me.

"Yeah Charlie, Adam's right. I mean ok, Julie let it slip, but lets face it, someone was bound to click on sooner or later by her odd behavior". Averman joined in.

"Whose to say though, that _any_ of the girls will say anything". Fulton added.

After a few minutes we all separated, heading in different directions, all with different places to check. I knew Averman was right, people were bound to think something was odd by her jumpiness and the disinterest she had adopted recently. I couldn't help though, but hope Fulton was right, in saying that the girls might not say anything, but it seemed a pretty big _might_ to me.

KEN'S P.O.V

You can go through life, questioning situations you or someone you know endure. There was times when you truly hated the world for doing these awful things. I wasn't religious, but without even thinking it, you can't help but question whether there truly is a higher power. When something bad happens you almost threaten them, 'if you really exist, why'd you cause so much suffering to those who don't deserve it', or 'if you make everything better I promise I won't ever question you ever again'. You can't help it, you _need_ to blame someone. It really makes you think. People can commit the worst crimes thinkable, and get away with it. Yet some of the most honest, respectable people can suffer. They don't deserve it, but they still endure it. How fair is that?

I mean here we have Connie. She'd never hurt anyone intentionally, she'd go out of her way to help anyone. I mean don't get me wrong, she wasn't perfect, but who is? She had her faults, but I'm sure if we pointed them out, she'd try her hardest to right them. She didn't deserve this, well no-one did, especially Connie.

I watched her over the passed week or so, struggle to pull herself back together. I'd seen her flinch whenever anyone went near her or touched her. Her nervousness was heartbreaking, but what broke my heart even more, was her lack of trust in us, but looking at her, I knew she was trying her hardest to regain that trust. Just one guy had taken her trust in us away, just one guy.

I'd watched Charlie go through hell and back with her. Trying his hardest to be there for her, yet struggle to figure out how exactly he felt about everything. I couldn't tell how he was feeling, because I wasn't in his position, but I had a pretty good guess, because basically it had to be 10 times worse than what I was feeling and I was just a mere friend.

They say adversity makes you a stronger person. Yeah right, how the hell does being raped make you a stronger person.

AVERMAN'S P.O.V

I had known Connie my whole life. I know as you grow older, you can't remember your first step or anything significant like that, but I do know, that she was part of the earliest memory I have. It had always been that way. She was there at my first birthday, and my second. In fact she'd been present at all my 20 birthdays and as mad as it may sound, I knew she'd be at every single birthday for the next 70 years.

As kids me, Connie and Charlie were all inseparable. We all lived on the same block, my house was across the street from Connie's house and Charlie's mom's apartment building was about 5 houses down. Our moms originally became friends through antenatal classes, and realized they lived on the same block. It was all rather confusing as kids why it seemed natural to call each others mom's Aunt, instead of by there first name, but that's how it was for us.

We'd been through a lot together. We once even tried running away together. Not for any particular reason, just that it was summer, and we were bored. The idea seemed pretty exciting, so we each packed a rucksack with food, clothes and money and set off into the sunset. Connie was the most eager of our trio, always the independent one. We hadn't even reached the state line, when me and Charlie backed out. I could remember seeing the disappointment on her face when she realized that we wanted to go home. She didn't talk to us for a full day.

She was my little sister, more so since I was the oldest of 3 boys, and she was an only child. I remember after George, my brother, was born when I was 8. I used to climb out of my bedroom window and sneak across the street, then climb the big tree outside her house, then climb as secretively as possible into her window. We used to sit up and tell ghost stories, until we either both fell asleep, or I was too scared to head back home. On the odd occasion when her parents were fighting, she used to sneak over to my room, via the same route. The first time she did this, we were caught out, by her mom. She'd gone into Connie's room to check on her and found her missing. Immediately her parents alerted my parents, who in turn came to check whether I too was missing, and found us both fast asleep at opposite ends of my bed. The first few times on being caught out, we were grounded, but I think it soon became obvious that no matter how many times we were punished, we continued our nightly ritual.

The first time I saw her after, well you know, I could see the fear in her eyes. I hadn't seen her as scared since the time we snuck out late one night, and headed to the cemetery. Goldberg had this theory that he'd read somewhere how to contact the dead. So being the rogues we were, we decided to test his theory. We met Charlie and Adam who'd stayed over at Charlie's, at the end of our street, headed to meet Guy, Fulton and then finally Goldberg. It was the summer before the junior goodwill games, and she'd yet again fallen out with Guy, over something I suppose trivial to us, but deadly serious to her. She sat between me and Adam. We all laughed when Goldberg began reciting these lines from the magazine article. Goldberg was the only one that didn't. When he got even more serious, she gripped my hand tightly, almost as though I was the one she didn't want the spirits to over take. I remember Goldberg requesting we all hold hands of which Fulton turned to both Guy and Charlie, saying '_this is no act of gay love, ok'_ and let out a laugh. She continued keeping a tight hold of my hand, glancing sideways every so often and letting out a weak smile. I remember hearing the panic in her voice when Goldberg flipped his head back and began chanting something foreign. She screamed, pleading with one of us to stop him, the whole time never once letting go of me. When Goldberg started laughing hysterically, she nearly flew across the circle at him, but maybe it was my death grip on her hand or the fact Charlie, had already given him a hefty shove, stopped her. That night after heading home, Connie, Charlie and Adam all crept back into my room, where we all caught the last few hours sleep of the night. Connie might I add had my whole bed to herself.

When Adam first told us about Connie. I felt physically sick. Some pervert had got his thrills from my little sister. The only little sister I had, the one I'd protect until the day I died. I'm not a very angsty type of guy, I never got into any real fights and only very rarely raised my voice to anyone, but I swear the moment the words exited Adam's lips I was soo ready to find this pervert and give him the beating of his life.

FULTON'S P.O.V

It felt like only 5 minutes ago that Connie was telling Averman to 'shut up and try it', the it being passing the egg across the ice back to Bombay. I had immediately warmed to the brunette, who acted more like one of the guys, than one of the guys. I had never had much close contact with girls before meeting her, growing up in a house full of guys didn't exactly equip me in the expertise of knowing much about girls.

She was just like a little sister I never really cared about not having, but after having her around for a few months, I couldn't help but feel weird when she wasn't. She gave me a crash course in how to talk to girls just before the JGG, and even picked out a few suitable prospects the day we spent at the mall. Name me one sister in the world who'd do that.

Over the years I'd watched with envy at her closeness with Averman and Charlie, the bond they seemed to share. It was like they could read each others minds, without saying a word. Their bond unbreakable, even by Guy. In time we began to share some of their bond, but never have we ever had a full insight to that bond. I just kind of guessed it was similar to the bond I shared with Portman.

When Adam first came and told us about her being attacked, I felt a rage inside I'd never felt before. If I'd have known who attacked her, I was sure I'd have been capable of murder. I still felt some of that rage, though it was slowly dissolving with time, though I knew the day we found out who had done it, that rage would return in full swing.

I heard my cell phone beep, alerting me to a text message I had received. I pulled it from my pocket and read _'found her'_. With a sigh I turned and headed back to the dorms, meeting up with a few other ducks along the way. I felt relief even though I hadn't realized how worried I was in the first place.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

CAKEEATER : Ahh, you'll have to wait and find out who found her won't you? Lol. Yeah I thought it was pretty sweet to have a few of the ducks thoughts about her. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : Arr thanks : ) lol. 'Saa-weet' a new word for my dictionary me thinks lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CONNIE/CHARLIE FAN : Totally agree with you, that Connie and Charlie need to talk, but will talking do any good? Lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

HOCKEY-GIRL90 : Hey, no worries, you've read it and that's all that matters to me lol. Your cat's so lucky then, sharing thee same b-day lol Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

SWEETNJUICYX0 : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

SUMMER FLARE1 : I am totally honored that anyone reads this lol. I can't however promise a Julie/Portman story, but I seriously will try and 'rev' myself up to do one, one day lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 13

I stood far enough back that she didn't know I was there, but I could see her clearly. She was sat under a big oak tree in the park. Her spot I presumed wasn't exactly thought through, yet funnily enough she'd picked an open area, where people could see her clearly and no-one in their right mind would attack her. _'Found her'._ I text a few of the ducks from my cell phone, knowing it would be like a chain mail and carry on until they all knew.

I slowly headed to her, letting her become aware of my presence in her own time. She didn't look up from her spot, but shuffled over to give me enough of the tree to lean against. I could see she'd been crying, the tear stains were unmistakable.

"You ok"? I nudged her gently with my shoulder.

"Define ok"? She sniffed. I offered her my sleeve, the only thing I had. "No thanks". A small and I mean small, laugh escaped her lips.

"What happened"? I eased gently into the question.

"Nothing worth freaking out about, like I did really. But I just can't seem to stop". She confided.

"Hey, you're allowed to be scared. But I mean c'mon it's getting better. You're easing back into things, which is great".

"I'm tired of running scared though. I just want to get back to normal, to _feel_ normal. I never used to run before, but God all I do lately is run. I feel like, for every step forward I take, I'm running back 2".

"Ever thought about trying out for the track team"? I joked, then realized it wasn't really the time. "Listen, you _have_ to give yourself time. You can't expect everything to fall back into place straight away. You have to regain your trust in people again, and it isn't going to happen over night". I lifted my arm and she leant into my embrace. "Everything's going to be alright, you'll see". I kissed her hair line, holding her tight.

"Does Charlie know I freaked out"? I guessed she already knew the answer.

"Yeah. All the ducks do. They've all been out looking for you". I replied.

"See. Before non of you would have thought about coming to look for me. You all treat me like a china cup". She sat up slightly, and looked directly at me. "Even you guys look and treat me differently. Why? Am I _that_ different now"?

"You're not different at all. We don't mean to, but it's just hard for us". I began to try and explain. "None of us just, well we don't know what to say. We all want to help you through it, but we just haven't got the first clue how".

"The best way to help is to treat me exactly the same as you did before, instead of someone whose missing a limb or something". She admitted. "I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I'm tired of feeling sorry for _myself_, I don't need sympathy, no-one's died". This sounded more like the old Connie.

"I'll try and remember that". I gave her a quick squeeze, as if telling her I meant it. "So, you wanna tell me exactly what scared you back there"?

"It's stupid really. I just well, Ramsden kinda got in my face, telling me I wasn't playing my best or something. It just kinda brought back memories, you know".

"When you say memories"?

"No, I don't mean I think it was Ramsden. When Ramsden gets in your face, he has this habit of hissing. When he started hissing, the um, the guy who, um attacked me, he, um he hissed in my face". I could tell it was hard for her to tell me this.

"And that's why you ran"? I clarified.

"Yeah. Stupid huh"?

"No, never". I answered pulling her even closer to me and kissing her forehead again.

We sat under the tree for another hour so, just talking. She managed to open up enough to tell me about her problems with Charlie. I have to admit, I had noticed Charlie distance himself recently. He seemed as though he wanted to be there for her, yet not really wanting to be near her. He seemed far more mixed up than her. I knew Adam had brought the subject up once when I was sat with him and Charlie. But Charlie simply dismissed his claims, telling him he was reading too much into it.

Whilst Connie was talking, I kept quiet throughout, not wanting to be the one to confirm her thoughts that things had definitely changed between them. After she got everything off her chest, we moved onto an easier subject. Our past. It was nice sat watching the sun slowly set, reminiscing together of all the laughs we'd had.

"Can you remember when we were about 5, maybe 6 and that Chris Selmer kept bullying us, so that one lunch break at school, we tied him to that tree with my jump rope". She giggled.

"Oh yeah. The big baby cried his eyes out until the teacher found him. Of course they knew it was you because it was your jump rope".

"I did try and tell them that non of you had anything to do with it, but they wouldn't believe me, and just kinda figured that you were involved".

"Can you blame them? Whenever you were in trouble, at least one of us always tended to be right there with you". I laughed.

We continued talking for another few minutes until I stated we ought to get back. It was dusk now, and she latched onto me like a young child scared of losing her parent. I wrapped one arm around her shoulders comfortingly, whilst continuing to talk to her. I knew this was the first time she'd actually been out this late since the attack. Although I knew my presence comforted her slightly, I knew she was very aware of our situation.

I soon had her back on campus, and walked her right to her dorm room. She thanked me for everything, before entering the room, and closing the door securely behind her. I walked away, the evening running through my mind and how messed up she truly was. I headed straight to the common room of our dorms, and found all the ducks hanging around, most of them awaiting my presence patiently, others mostly Charlie, impatiently.

"Hey! hey, where'd you find her"? He almost pounced on me when I walked through the door.

"In the park". I walked passed him, and sat on a spare chair, facing the rest of the ducks. "And before you ask, yes she's fine". I informed Charlie mainly. "Oh and she also made it clear that we've gotta stop treating her like fine china, and treat her normally".

After a few minutes, Julie headed back to her and Connie's dorm, to spend the remaining part of the evening with her. I hadn't failed to notice however Charlie made no move to go and check on her. This was when I really noticed things had most definitely changed for him. He'd usually have spent every waking second with her, but now, he was far too hesitant.

I glanced toward Adam, who seemed to be reading my mind, and nodded gently. I nodded my head in the direction of the door, then stood up, excusing myself into going to grab a bite to eat. Adam immediately stood and said he too would accompany me, apparently everyone else had either eaten or wasn't hungry. We walked a safe distance before beginning talking.

"She knows you know". I told him. "Well she thinks she knows. But I've made some excuses up for him, saying he's just struggling and shit like that". I told him.

"He is, that's just it. But I think it's getting more than that now". Adam said.

"Do you think we ought to tell him. I mean he can't keep going on like this with her. He either needs to get his act together or end it with her. Non of this is helping Connie, and trust me, if she ever finds out, she'll be heart broken. She has very little trust at the minute anyway. She already thinks we're all looking at her differently, finding out that the guy she loves and that's supposed to love her back _is_ seeing her differently will kill her".

"I don't think we've got much choice to be honest". He replied.

"Tomorrow then, after classes. We'll get him on his own in our room".

We agreed and sorted a plan out, before heading to the cafeteria that was on campus. I grabbed a bite to eat and we headed back to the others. Things continued as normal for the rest of the evening and the following day, until classes ended and both myself and Adam almost dragged Charlie back to our dorm, letting Portman, Fulton and Julie meet Connie after her classes and walk her back to her room. Charlie seemed a little suspicious as to why we were so desperate to get him in our room, but said nothing. Once there, Adam shut the door and we both looked at Charlie.

"Charlie, we want the truth. Do you still love Connie"? I asked immediately.

"What? Of course I do. What kind of question is that"? He glared at us.

"Well it's just that Connie, and well both of us have noticed how distant you've become toward her. Now we've put it all down to the fact we all feel a little awkward around her, you more so than everyone else, but that reasoning's wearing pretty thin don't you think"? Adam stated.

"Are you for real? I can't believe you're both stood here accusing me of not loving my own girlfriend"! Charlie yelled. "YES, ok, Connie isn't the same person to me anymore, but God, how can she be. She is different no matter how you look at it. She herself acts and thinks differently". His voice was full of anger, yet there was so much hurt and pain there. "But it doesn't mean I love her any less". He almost muttered after a few seconds.

"Charlie, you have to tell her how you feel. She needs to know". I told him.

"How can I Averman? It'll break her heart". He replied.

"It'll break her heart more if you don't and she finds out". I answered.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

HOCKEY-GIRL90 : Honestly, I purposely left the name of the mystery guy out because I was unsure who to make it. Anyways glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CAKEEATER : Nothing gets by you does it? Lol. My new task in life is to get one over on you lol. Charlie actually does love her, he said so in his speech at the end of the last chapter _"But it doesn't mean I love her any less". _But lets face it, can you blame him for feeling different toward her after everything. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CONNIE/CHARLIE FAN : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 14

CONNIE'S P.O.V

I can't believe he was saying those things. I thought he was the only person I could trust no matter what. Everything I had been through these passed few weeks, he's stood by my side, comforting me all the way. But it was all one big lie. _"YES, ok, Connie isn't the same person to me anymore, but God, how can she be. She is different no matter how you look at it. She herself acts and thinks differently"._ I never thought words could hurt as much as that. They had been spoken by, the one person I thought I could count on the most.

I backed away from the door before I allowed any sound at all to escape my lips. How could he have the nerve to act, because that's all it was 'acting', act like the ever loving supportive boyfriend, when all along, he felt that way about me. All my fears about people looking at me differently, he had stomped on, telling me it was all in my imagination. How he could do that was incomprehensible to me?

I ran back to my dorm, tears pouring from me eyes in anger, hurt, humiliation and fear. Julie wasn't in, and I slammed the door shut, before locking it securely, then bounding over to my bed, where I cried heavily into my pillow. Was I that pathetic that he'd lied to me all along about how he felt, and how he'd be there for me no matter what? It made me start to ponder how many more things he'd lied to me about. Had our full relationship been one big lie? He wasn't the Charlie I had grown up with, grown to love as more than a brother.

After I had calmed slightly and my breathing had slowed to a steady rate, I sat up, hugging my pillow to my chest. There sat on my bedside table was a picture of me and Charlie in our happier times. I lifted it gently, running my fingers tenderly over the photo. Within a second I was throwing it across the room, wanting to never see it again, or rather Charlie again. Tears ran again from my eyes, but I wiped them away quickly, but they were soon replaced by fresh tears. The quicker I wiped them away, the quicker they came.

Needing something to do, I grabbed the nearest back and emptied it's contents out on my bed, then repacking it, with anything I could find that represented Charlie or anything he had given me. Once satisfied that I had everything of his in the bag, I dumped it by the door, ready for when he came round or when I saw him next. The tears came more furiously in the thought of having to see him again.

"Con it's just me Jules, let me in will you"? She shouted through the door along with the gentle tap, tap of her knocking.

I fumbled with the locks and opened it, allowing her entrance, then closing and locking it again after her. She had neither seen my face or the bag sat by the door, but I knew she'd already picked up on the tense atmosphere that had surrounded the room already.

"Um Con, what's your photo doing on the floor"? Julie asked, picking the photo I had earlier thrown across the room up, and turning to face me. "Oh my God what's wrong"? She saw my face and pulled me into a hug straight away.

I told her everything I had heard Charlie say. She sat and listened to me as I poured my heart out to her, nodding occasionally, but never the less keeping any opinion she might have to herself until I had finished my explanation of events.

"Are you sure you didn't mishear him or take what he said in the wrong context"? She asked carefully.

"He was shouting it at someone". I said whilst shaking my head miserably. "I still love him soo much Jules, but he's lied to me, pretended to feel something for me that he clearly doesn't. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him, he's hurt me too much". I wept.

"Well ok. You've both been going through a rough patch these passed few weeks. So what you're going to do, is spend a little time apart from each other, and if you're meant to be together, you'll find a way to get back together". She told me gently.

She hugged me gently telling me everything would be ok, and she knew I must be hurting at the moment but everything would turn out ok. I felt like turning around and telling her she had no idea how much it hurt, and that I hoped she'd never have to go through this pain.

I didn't see Charlie that evening, but dreaded the following day. It was a Saturday, and we always did things together at weekends. I knew that I wouldn't be strong enough to spend the day with him, pretending everything was ok, when it clearly wasn't. I knew Julie, knew that too, and though she told me she'd spend the day with me, I declined her invitation telling her I'd just bum her out too, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. She tried to convince me that I wouldn't but I eventually got her to go meet Portman, and convince her I would be ok on my own.

About an hour later, there was a knock on the door, and I knew it was Charlie. Who else could it be? Julie was out somewhere with Portman and the others, the ducks wouldn't think twice about bothering me. Yet Charlie had this thing where he thought he had a duty to withhold toward me. I swung the door open without even thinking.

"I see I didn't need my social security number this time". He joked, a smile playing on his lips.

"What do you want Charlie"? I asked, though not as bitterly as I assumed my first words to him would be.

"Well um Jules said you didn't want to hang out, so I thought I'd come check on you. What's wrong"? He seemed a little shocked as to why I wasn't stepping back and letting him in.

"Might be quicker if you told me what was right". I retorted seeing confusion cross his every feature. "It's over Charlie". I almost muttered, feeling my emotions conflict suddenly.

"What? Why"? He almost yelled.

"I think you know why. I've just been too stupid to notice".

"Enlighten me"?

"We were stupid to think that we could survive this". I told him. "I'm a different person to you now".

"No you're not. You're still my Connie". He stepped forward attempting to take me in a hug, but I stepped back too.

"Charlie, you look at me and all you can see is a tainted version of the Connie you used to love".

"You're wrong". He told me adamantly.

"Am I? Then why did I hear you saying that I was different to you now, and that I'm not the same person to you anymore". I felt my tears start to come, but I forced them away. "I don't blame you Charlie, I really don't. I just wished you could have been honest with me from the start". I spoke gently.

"I… I didn't mean it the way it sounded, Connie I love you". His voice turned soft and gentle, almost as though he were pleading with me to believe him.

"I never doubted your love Charlie, and I still don't. But honestly, I do think you meant every word exactly the way it sounded. We've been through a lot together, but we were just stupid enough to believe nothing would change between us".

"Connie, please don't do this"? I could see the hurt in his eyes, and my stomach churned.

"You have been my rock Charlie over the passed few weeks, I probably couldn't have gotten through this without you. But carrying on isn't fair on either of us".

"Connie"… He began.

"Please Charlie, just leave". I muttered, tears really forcing hard not to spill as I offered him the bag from beside the door.

He nodded mutely, took the bag and walked away. I closed the door tightly, leaning heavily on it. A stray tear rolled down my cheek. Strangely though, I felt a sense of relief peep through all the hurt and anger. I suppose I felt relief because I no longer felt myself holding Charlie back. He'd probably be able to get on with his life now. I had relied on him for too long, maybe being apart would do us both some good.

Over the next few hours, I just sat, staring at the wall. Thoughts had begun to haunt me, not long after I had spoken with Charlie. Was what I had done right? Did I make the right choice? Should I just have said I needed some time to myself, rather than a clean cut break up? Soon I began to physically, emotionally and mentally miss him. Miss knowing he was my guy, miss being his girlfriend.

For the next two days I lived in self pity. Feeling sorry for myself, trying my hardest to lock all my feelings away. I had never felt like this when I broke up with Guy. Granted we were 13 at the time, and I suppose we no longer really felt anything for each other, the way I still felt for Charlie. I was still very much in love with him, and I suppose I was going to be for some time.

"C'mon Con, cheer up. I know it's hard right now, but trust me, you did the right thing". Julie told me.

"Wish I had your optimism Jules". I replied, without lifting my head from where it rested on my arms, as I laid flat out on my bed, feet on my pillow, staring into space as I had done all weekend.

"C'mon, it's nearly time for classes". She informed me.

I almost dragged myself up off my bed, and followed her out the room. Once we neared the main building, I began noticing people looking at me, their eyes following me. At first I thought maybe I was being paranoid, but there was more and more people just staring after me, weirdly even.

"Jules". I blurted out, stopping her mid sentence.

"Yeah". She responded cheerfully.

"Why are people staring at us"? I asked nervously.

"They"… She began.

"Oh hey Connie, I'm sorry to hear about what happened". Natalie, one of the girls in a few of my classes, said apologetically as she passed us.

"Um thanks". I responded a little baffled. I could see a few of the ducks heading our way. "Jules"? I glanced around myself at everyone who seemed to be leering at me, then at her.

"I think"… She began and again.

"NO! Please God tell me they don't"?

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

MEME-ANN : Sorry but I had to lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

HOCKEY-GIRL90 : Glad you liked it. Here's the next chappy for you. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

SWEETNJUICYX0 : I know you can't do any other than fee sorry for her can you. Well I hope that whatever you thinks gonna happen, happens lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : You haven't been that bad lol. Yeah it is a little sad ain't it, but hey that's life lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CAKEEATER : That's the only reason you were for them breaking up wasn't it lol. I take it you're an extreme Connie/Guy fan then lol. Still I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Hope you have/had a nice time in Cyprus. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

C-CHAN96 : I know your secret. You wait until the end on purpose don't you lol. Hey I don't care how pointless your reviews are, you took the time to read and review my story, that's all that matters lol. Yeah poor Connie, and yeah you've gotta feel for Charlie too haven't you – not a problem I should think for you lol. Hint though, you may feel the need to shout at me in later chapters lol. Anyways thanks for the **6** reviews and support. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 15

CHARLIE'S P.O.V

I had spent all weekend feeling miserable. The guys tried cheering me up, but nothing helped, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had failed Connie somehow. This all started because I hadn't walked her home from work, because I was too interested in going to that damn party. I must be the worst boyfriend in the world, there was no wonder why she wanted to break up. I loved her so much, but I had let all my other feelings cloud that. Why I hadn't been more honest with her from the start was beyond me. Non of this would have happened if I'd been more open with my feelings to her or the ducks. But instead I'd been the stubborn ass and kept everything locked up, tried to be strong for everyone except myself.

"Charlie, you think you'll win her back moping around here"? Averman told me, as he packed his bag for class.

"I'm not trying to". I retorted.

"Then you're not the Charlie Conway I grew up with". He answered.

"Charlie, think about it. You said she'd heard you saying all that stuff about her being different right"? I nodded at him. "Have you ever thought she didn't really want to break up with you in the first place, but she was scared that you were just being supportive out of duty, not out of love". Adam told me from his position on his bed.

"So what you're saying is, she broke up with me because she thinks I don't love her anymore, and I was just hanging around because I didn't have the heart to break up with her myself, because of everything she's been through". I felt a little glimmer of hope, as I lifted my head up.

"Maybe". Adam responded.

"So all I need to do is prove to her that I still really love her". I began getting up, grabbing the books I needed and stuffing them into my bag.

"Maybe you should give her some space for now Charlie. I mean lets face it, what she heard you say kinda hurt her. Just concentrate on being her friend for now, until this whole thing blows over". Averman advised.

"You're right, I just need to let her know I'm still here for her". I agreed.

Minutes later we were heading onto the main part of campus. As we walked we met up with a few other ducks. The campus around the main building was thronging with students. At first I didn't notice the few people staring at us, and when I finally did, the others had too. I just thought it was because they had been to our hockey games and recognized us. But soon there was more and more people looking at us.

"Man, I'm starting to freak out. What are all these dudes staring at"? Russ asked in annoyance and confusion as he headed toward us along with Luis, Ken and Dwayne.

"For once I wish it were for my good looks". Averman commented. "But I seriously doubt it".

"Oh God Charlie. They know". Fulton said suddenly.

"Know what"? I asked as I turned to face him. "SHIT"! It dawned on me exactly what he was saying. "Guys, guys, we gotta find Connie immediately, if everyone's staring at her as much as they are at us, she'll freak".

I needn't say anymore as we all took off in separate directions. I ran into the building knowing exactly where her first class was. Adam who was the only duck Connie had her first class with, obviously had the same idea, as we met at one end of the corridor.

"Great minds eh"? He joked half heartedly as we dashed along the corridor.

We turned toward left at the end of the corridor and immediately spotted her being dragged toward the ladies bathroom by Julie. I knew it was too late, she had already noticed everyone staring at her. Without even thinking about it, we both stopped outside the bathroom door, and began entering cautiously.

"WILL YOU JUST GET THE HELL OUT, HAVEN'T YOU"… Julie shouted at us as soon as she'd heard the door swing open. "Oh it's you". She stopped yelling as soon as she saw it was us.

Connie was stood gripping one of the basins. Tears were evident even from where I stood. Her knuckles were turning white from how hard she gripped. My first instinct was to go over to her and grab her in a hug, but something seemed to hold me in place.

"How? How do they know"? Connie asked after a few seconds, her voice wobbly as though she was struggling to speak.

"It"… I began.

"I'm so sorry Connie, but it was me". Julie admitted quickly.

"You, you told them"? Connie looked sharply at her, hurt filled her eyes.

"I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to". Julie began trying to explain.

"You didn't mean to? So what you just accidentally told someone you thought you could trust, or did the topic just arise in the weekly gossip meeting"?

Someone tried entering, I noticed before the others, and pushed the door tightly shut, ignoring the few shoves whoever it was gave on the door, before finally giving in. I dragged the litter bin over to the door and lent against the handle, stopping anymore intruders.

"No, it wasn't like that". Julie said gently. "It was after you ran away from Ramsden, I was coming after you and he started shouting at me to leave you, and I got angry, and it just slipped out. I never meant to say anything or hurt you. I was just"…

"How can I go back out there? With them all staring at me like that". Connie suddenly said.

"Con you can, and you've got to". I told her. "Once they know you aren't bothered, then they'll find something else to gossip about".

"I can't. They're all looking at me like I'm a chimp at the zoo". She cried.

"Then give them something to look at. Show them that they aren't gonna win and you're not bothered". Julie joined in.

Eventually we convinced her that she'd be ok and to just ignore them. We looked through her schedule and made arrangements for her to be with at least 1 duck at all times. Mainly she'd be with Julie, Adam and Averman, I had one class with her along with Adam, Fulton and Portman.

"C'mon, Con, I'm right here with ya". Adam told her as we prepared to head on out.

Both me and Adam snuck out first, so at least no-one would make a big deal of us being in there with them. A few minutes later Julie and Connie exited. Connie walked cautiously behind Julie, then immediately sheltered by Adam's side. Both me and Julie watched as the two walked away, Adam talking to her the whole time. After they rounded the next corner, I slung my arm across Julie's shoulder and headed toward our class.

ADAM'S P.O.V

"It's ok Con, just ignore 'em". I said as soothingly as I could manage. "Let 'em stare, they're wasting their own time and energy".

When we arrived in class, we sat in our usual seats, and I began a gentle conversation with her. I purposely let her sit in my seat which was next to the aisle, so she wouldn't have to sit next to anyone who might treat her differently. I couldn't help but notice the quiet whisperings and odd glances that people gave her, and Connie grew more and more tense.

"RIGHT, everyone take your seats or get out". The professor entered the room, slamming the room door after him.

He began by handing out some papers he'd has us do weeks before. When he came to mine, he handed it me, giving Connie a sympathetic look as he did so. He then handed her a note from the Dean, asking her to go and see him. She began nervously collecting her things, and had climbed down two stairs before the professor gestured his head toward her, obviously meaning for me to follow her. I grabbed my things and took off after her, leaving the whisperings, that steadily got louder the further to the door we got.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP"! I heard the professor yell and silence followed immediately.

At first neither of us said anything as we walked the corridors. We both knew that the Dean wanted to see her, to confirm the gossip he'd obviously heard. I had never known anyone personally that had been called to the Dean, generally it was up to the professors to drop people from their classes or whatever else they were meant to do. But I knew the Dean also was very hands on when it came to troubled or troublesome students. Connie fell into the former category.

"What do you think he's gonna say"? She asked me in a quiet voice after a few minutes.

"He probably just wants to know whether the rumors he's heard are true, and to see that you're ok". I answered.

"Thanks for coming with me". She smiled slightly at me.

"Hey anything to get me outta class". I laughed, and she cracked the first smile I'd seen from since her break up with Charlie, albeit a small one.

So anyways whatta ya think? PLEASE R&R!


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

MEME-ANN : Do you think that little of Adam that he'd still his best friends girlfriend? Especially when he's got me. LOL! Yes I mean that lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

SWEETNJUICYX0 : Arr Julie didn't really mean to blab, an I suppose in her defense she was sticking up for Connie. Lol. Isn't wishful thinking brilliant lol. I wishful think all the time, 9 times outta 10 it never comes true though lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : Will do lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

HOCKEY-GIRL90 : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

PUNKTEACHER : I don't know, do you sense something going on between Adam and Connie? I might sense a little something too, but I'm not sure what lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 16

CONNIE'S P.O.V

It had been a week since that first Monday morning, when the whole college seemed to be gossiping about me. I'd love to tell you I coped with it all, with dignity and calmness, it was probably more of the opposite. I became paranoid about every little whisper and laugh, contrary to the fact that they probably hadn't been talking or laughing at me in the first place. I had a lot of people approaching me to tell me how sorry they were for me, and I became very close to screaming at them.

I found myself spending some extra time with Jen, talking everything through carefully with her, and venting all my emotions to her. After every session I left her office feeling that bit more ready to face the world, though within a few hours, I'd had enough and wanted to be left alone. Julie had been my rock throughout the week, spending even more time with me, continually apologizing to me for letting 'the secret' out. Honestly though, when I was at my calmest, I was strangely relieved, I suppose because it was one less thing for me to worry about.

I missed Charlie more with every day, woke every morning forgetting that things between us were different now. For that first few seconds of every morning, everything felt and seemed normal. Well that was until memories came flooding through. We'd spoken a little during the week, but neither of us approached the topic I knew was on both our minds. We talked in subjects that both came easily to us, and I suppose felt safe. The ducks too seemed extremely tense when around us and for that reason I tried to keep my distance, feeling guilty for making them feel difficult around us.

Because of my guilt, I spent less time with the ducks and more time on my own. Finding myself in my room, alone, as I was now. I had begun renting DVD's from the local rental store. Even after a few weeks, my account must have been one of the busiest, and I was probably one their most valued customers, as every time I went in I got a free bag of candy or popcorn.

It was whilst watching Speed, that the phone began ringing. I cursed the phone, believing it was Julie calling to double check I didn't want to hang out tonight. I then cursed her for interrupting the vital part, where the bus jumps the intersection.

"Hello". I spoke into the phone, expecting Julie to reply.

"Is that Miss Moreau"? A voice asked me, and I immediately leant over and turned off the TV.

"Yeah, whose this"? I asked gently.

"Oh hi, this is Theresa West, from the Police department". She told me, and immediately, my stomach lurched then began churning. "I was just calling to see if it would be possible for you to pop down to the station sometime this afternoon"?

I could feel myself getting worked up, like I had the last time she'd called. I took a few deep breaths before replying that I would. She cheerfully said goodbye, and hung up, leaving me all alone again with my thoughts. I could feel myself beginning to panic again. I fought hard to calm down and eventually did so, taking big deep breaths. I knew I didn't want to go alone, and made the decision to go find Julie, Averman or any of the other ducks really to go with me.

I grabbed my jacket and headed toward the guys dorms where I thought the guys might be hanging out. I headed into the common room of the dorm. I stepped cautiously inside, as I did everything these days. I didn't see anyone and turned immediately to try their rooms.

"Connie"? I heard a voice and I jumped about a mile high. I gripped the door frame tightly. "Shit sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump". It was Charlie.

"It's um, it's ok". I answered, regaining myself quickly.

"What you doing here anyway? I thought you'd be out with the guys"? He asked, as he lead me into the common room.

For some reason, I didn't really want to ask him to accompany me to the station. Things were difficult between us anyway, and I didn't really want to rely on him or make him feel he had to.

"Um no. But you haven't seen them have you"? I asked gently.

"I haven't seen 'em since this morning". He answered. "Why what's up"? He asked, in the same gentle tone as always, whenever he was concerned.

"Nothing, it um, it doesn't matter". I replied, and turned toward the door.

"It obviously does". He stopped my by placing his arm across the door frame. "Look, we might not be a couple anymore, but I'm still your friend, and I'm here if you need me". He told me in such a way, I couldn't not believe him.

"I've just had a call from Theresa West, you know from the police department". I told him, awaiting the slight nod of his head to let me know he knew who I meant. "Well she wants me to go down this afternoon sometime". I told him.

"Did she say what for"? He asked. I shook my head, whilst biting my lip. "Look, if you want, I'll come with you, let me just grab a jacket and I'll come with you". He told me.

"Are you sure"? I felt awkward, the idea of my _ex_ boyfriend accompanying me to the police department.

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't". He told me smiling gently at me. "And I sure as hell wouldn't let you go down there alone". And with that he slipped away from the room to retrieve his jacket.

Within 5 minutes we were on our way. Sat in Charlie's car beside him, I felt at my most comfortable. But then again, I had always been comfortable around Charlie, in almost all situations. I think the only time I had been slightly uncomfortable was just after my attack, when everything around me was uncomfortable and not just Charlie.

"How you feeling"? He asked, breaking the silence, as he quickly glanced at me, then focused back on the road.

"A little nervous". I admitted. "Thanks for coming with me by the way".

"My pleasure". He replied, and we escaped back into silence.

Outside the police department, we stood gaping at it for a few seconds, before heading for it's entrance. Charlie's hand fell on my back between my shoulders. On his touch I felt my heart flutter, and my blood run cold. How I had missed his small embraces, his gentle, confidence giving touch. I fought, and I really mean _fought_ the urge to just turn around and hide in his embrace, feel his lips against my own. Finally after what seemed a century of seconds, we stopped in front of the reception desk. I told them why I was here, then taken into the same room as before. Charlie never once left my side. I started biting my nails in apprehension. Calmly Charlie took my hand away from my mouth, at first placing it on my lap, but seconds later when I absently began biting at them again, he took my hand in his own, smirking gently in knowledge.

"Hi Connie, thanks for coming down". Theresa walked in and shook my hand. "Charlie right"? She squinted in thought, then reached over to shake his hand too. "Well Connie, I must say you look better than the last time I saw you". I nodded slightly, not knowing what else to say or do. "But then I suppose with a boyfriend like Charlie here, you're bound too". A slight giggle escaped her lips.

As soon as she said that, I felt even more tense than I had before. I didn't know what to say, was I supposed to fill her in on the happenings, explain to her why she wasn't meant to refer to Charlie as my boyfriend anymore. I glanced at Charlie slightly, seeing a hard expression on his face. I had to break the subject, and I had to do it fast, before she started going on about us even more.

"Listen I don't mean to be rude or anything. But why exactly did you want to see me"? I asked.

"Ah yes, right ok. Ok, we've had the last test results through. These aren't anything really to do with you physically if you like. They are the results of the identification tests we do". She explained. I began to feel sick, was she about to tell me they'd found him, that they were charging him. "Unfortunately the results aren't what we wanted".

"What exactly are you saying"? I asked, feeling Charlie's hand tighten around mine, more out of instinct I suppose than him wanting to silence me.

"Well, to put it simply, the tests were inconclusive". She told me and my heart dropped. "The DNA we retrieved from the semen we swabbed from your internal examinations, well we weren't able to match it against any of our records". She told me.

I winced at her words. _Semen_ and _internal examinations_ all in front of Charlie. Up until now, he'd not known the full extent of what I'd had to go through, but now she was speaking about as though he'd been there with me. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. One look at Charlie though, and he looked unfazed by her words, as though he'd known all along, that I'd have had to internal examinations and swabs for semen. Seeing him like this settled me slightly, until I realized she'd said the search for my attacker had been inconclusive.

"Wh… Why weren't you able to match them"? I asked, and Charlie instinctively gripped my hand that little bit tighter, as though ready for the answer.

"Well, we are only able to try and match them against men who have criminal records if you like. However the DNA we found didn't match any of our records, meaning whoever did this to you hasn't got a record with us".

I didn't know how to react. All the examination's I'd had to go through in hopes of finding this guy, were all for nothing. Tears came into my eyes, and I tried my hardest to blink them away. The last thing I wanted was to feel weak in front of her. I wasn't too worried about feeling weak in front of Charlie, damn he'd seen me at my weakest point.

"So he's still out there walking the streets, living a normal life". I stated. Theresa couldn't answer. "All I went through that night, here, was for nothing". My tears began falling.

"No, no Connie. Don't think that. We may catch him one day. Now we have his DNA, we could still find him". She told me.

"But he has to commit another crime first right". She nodded gently.

Everything else she said went in one ear and out of the other. All I could think about was the fact he was still definitely out there. Walking the streets as though there was nothing wrong with the world, believing he'd gotten away with a crime. He wasn't having to look over his shoulder every time he stepped out of the house.

Eventually I felt Charlie tug on my hand. We both shook Theresa's hand before leaving. I was in a daze, and just followed Charlie's lead. We got all the way to his car before either of us said a word. He'd yet to let go of my trembling hand. I leant against the passenger door, I suppose waiting for him to unlock it.

"How you holding up"? He asked gently, almost a whisper.

There and then I just broke down in tears. I didn't know how I felt or how I was supposed to feel. Charlie immediately scooped my up in his arms, rubbing my back soothingly with one hand and kissing my head every so often. He told me over and over everything was going to be ok, and that he was proud of me.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

HOCKEY-GIRL90 : My one and only reviewer! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 17

CHARLIE'S P.O.V

Connie didn't say a word all the way back to the dorms. I'd held her hand throughout the whole meeting with Theresa West, not once letting go, or feeling her pull away. When we'd gotten outside, she'd cried harder than I'd ever seen her cry before. I knew, to her the whole point of having all the examinations she'd had was to catch the guy who'd done it. But now they'd told her they were inconclusive, she felt as though it was all for nothing. I could read her like a book.

When I pulled up outside the dorms, Connie sat silently, staring straight ahead. Almost as though in a trance. Her face was troubled, yet I had the feeling that wherever she was in her mind, it was far happier than she felt right now. Not wanting to snap her out of it, I cut the car engine and sat silently beside her. With the silence, I too began to stare into space, going back in my minds eye, to happier times between us, finally getting together, our graduation, our 1st anniversary, starting college together. The list endless, well endless until recently.

"Thanks for coming with me Charlie". She suddenly snapped out of the trance she'd been in, leant over to me, pecked me cheek, then began scurrying out of the car.

"Connie… Connie wait"! I shouted after her. I scrambled out of the car after her, as she ran toward her building, either not hearing or ignoring my calls.

When she'd disappeared from sight, I continued climbing out of the car, closing and locking the door behind me. Without even trying, I was worried about her. The news had hit her hard, and though I knew she wouldn't do anything stupid, the fact that she'd be on her own, as upset as she clearly was, bothered me.

I headed back to my dorm room, feeling a little despondent. Everything seemed so out of control, and nothing seemed to be getting better. Weren't things supposed to get easier eventually. I entered my room, barely noticing Averman hunched over his lap top in the corner, where we kept the desk.

"Hey Conway! Adam's been looking for you". He stated, startling me, but he didn't turn in his seat.

"Oh yeah. What for"? I asked, as I sat heavily on my bed.

"No idea. Don't think it was important anyway". He swizzled the chair around to look at me. "What's"… He began.

"There you are. I've been looking for you all"… Adam started as he entered the room, followed by Russ, Goldberg and Luis. "What's wrong"?

"I've just been with Connie"… I tried explaining.

"Oh yeah"? Luis wiggled his eyebrows as Goldberg and Russ wolf whistled.

"Down the police department". I stated abruptly.

"Wh… Why"? Averman asked, as Luis closed the door tightly behind himself and they all turned every speck of attention to me.

"They rang Connie, and he came over here looking for I suppose anyone but me to go with her. But I saw her first and took her down there. All the test result things are in. They're inconclusive". I informed them.

"Inconclusive"? Goldberg asked.

"Um, they were unable to match the um, you know". They looked at me clueless. "In other words, unless the guy who attacked her, ends up crossing the law at some point, we won't ever find who he was".

"Damn". Russ muttered.

"How's Connie taking it"? Adam asked.

"Um, she was pretty upset. I think she needs to be alone though. When we got back here, she just ran toward her room". I informed them.

CONNIE'S P.O.V

They had no idea who it was! That was the only thing that was on my mind. It could have been anyone, even someone who I had the same classes with. Whoever it was, had gotten away with it, he was walking around feeling freedom, without a care in the world. He was able to do it over and over until he got caught. He could have a girlfriend, or maybe he was married. He could have kids, the perfect kind of life, his loved ones never really knowing what kind of man he was.

Honestly, I had been hoping all along, that when they'd caught him, he'd suffer, suffer like no-one had suffered before. I had imagined psyching myself up to go and stand face to face with him. Imagined asking him why? Why me? I wanted revenge, more than anything I wanted revenge. You see he hadn't only raped me, he'd taken away trust and confidence. But the thing I hated him most for was making me feel so different that I had to break up with Charlie.

When I got in my room, Julie wasn't in, she rarely was these days. I think she'd been getting tired of listening to me drone on about how my life sucked. Even I was getting fed up of hearing myself wallow in self pity. I didn't want to stay in the room any longer than I had too, the four walls were all I'd been staring at for the passed few days and I could take no more. I grabbed my skates and headed back out.

It took me less than 5 minutes to hit the ice. For the 1st time in days, I felt myself relax. I glided gracefully across the ice, turning in tight circles, swapping from skating forwards to backwards in less than 2 steps. I felt so at ease, it felt almost un-natural. After a while, I skated toward one of the players boxes where I knew there would be a few pucks and sticks. I picked one of each up and took to the ice. I handled the puck, skating around with it at first, marveling at how I never once lost control of it. _Very different to life_ I couldn't help but think.

After a few minutes, I began shooting at the open net. Soon enough, I was hitting the puck harder than Fulton and it ricocheted off the Plexiglas back toward me. I hadn't noticed the tears of anger that spilled, until I began shaking with fury. But even then, I didn't stop.

? P.O.V

I was sat in my office, starting some withstanding paper work. It was a Saturday, and though I would have preferred to have spent it with my family, I knew that I wouldn't have been able to get the paper work done at home. Emily was having a sleep over, and as soon as my wife pointed out that there would be 5 loud teenage girls running riot throughout my house, I soon happily retreated to work.

**_Tap_**… I started studying the game schedule that I had been given a few days **_tap_**… previous, trying to decipher when I'd need to book the team bus for. **_Tap_**… Out the teams we were lined up to play first, I knew our team wasn't the strongest, yet we certainly weren't the weakest. **_Tap_**… Ironically the teams we were to play last, were the weakest ones, which I suppose was both **_tap_**… a good thing and a bad thing. Good because the team would be running down and bad because they would most likely underestimate the weaker teams. **_TAP_**…

What the hell was that tapping. It was almost rhythmical. Not loud, but loud enough to pull me out of my thoughts. I stood and headed to my office door, where I opened it, listening for the noise again. **_TAP_**… There it was again. I slowly followed the noise to the ice. The noise was in fact a puck hitting the boards and Plexiglas. In the middle of the ice, was a brunette, who I recognized straight away as Connie. For a few minutes I watched her, hit the puck toward the goal, catch it's rebound when it hit the boards, then shoot again. Even from here, I could see how tense she was. Slowly and quietly I headed out onto the ice, walking toward her. The puck slid passed her and she turned to retrieve it, noticing me. Straight away, she tensed even more.

"You've got one hell of a shot there. Why don't I see more of that"? I asked gently.

It was common knowledge amongst my team and probably most of the campus that I was this incredibly strict coach. I accept that easily, at least my team focus 80 percent of the time I'm coaching them. Maybe sometimes I'm over strict, but then again, I had yet to warm to my team, they had yet to warm to me and each other. I do however highly disagree when people comment that I'm nasty and have no compassion. If they were telling the truth, then how the hell my wife had put up with me all these years was beyond me, mainly because she wouldn't.

"It's not every day I have as much pent up anger". She replied strongly. It was then I was close enough to notice her tears.

"Are you ok? D'ya wanna talk"? I offered, walking even closer.

"Um, no it's ok". She edged slightly away from me, as though I was going to strike her when I was close enough.

Connie was about the same age as my oldest daughter, Amy. I had been informed by Ted Orion of her situation, after Julie Gaffney had blurted out part of it. On finding out, I couldn't help but feel an odd rage at her attacker. Being a father of 3 daughters myself was probably part of the reason, but the other part was because I had taken straight away to the fiery brunette.

You might think, that I was lying, but Connie had something about her, that was made her impossible not to like. Although we argued nearly every practice, and I pushed her far harder than most of the other girls, it was all because I knew she was capable of much more. Her fiery disposition, that I had quickly found a knack of igniting was invaluable as the more strong headed the better she played.

When I had first taken the job of coaching the team, I had watched hundred of tapes of games of all the girls. All of them had plenty of potential, but all simply played at high school level, apart from 3 of them who played better hockey than some college students I'd seen. 2 being Connie and Julie, the other being a girl called Sandra who never showed up. Though I felt incredibly lucky to have been 'dumped' with Julie, I was even more ecstatic with Connie. She was able to adapt her playing to any situation, she was fearless of other players, and never gave up until the final buzzer. Maybe it was because she'd played on an all boys team her whole life, and had to fight her own battles to stay where she was, but whatever it was, she had more fight in her, than most of the girls I'd ever coached. I'd never known one like her.

"I'm not quite the ogre you all make me out to be you know". I stated simply. "Listen, if you want to talk, I'm just in my office ok". I began to turn, and head back there, hoping she'd come around in her own time.

"Wait". She said loudly, I guess shocking herself in the process.

"Yeah". I responded gently.

"You wanna snag a coke". She offered.

"Sure". I replied.

Within minutes we were sat side by side on the bleaches. Connie didn't say anything for a few minutes, just sipped her drink and stared out at the ice. I sat silently, allowing her to collect her thoughts before she started talking. I wanted her to understand that I was here to purely listen to her.

"You know, for the passed few weeks, all I've been able to concentrate on, was when the police catch the guy who...". She couldn't even bring herself to say the words. "All this would be over, and I'd be able to get on with my life". A few tears ran down her cheeks. "Earlier today, they called me, wanting me to go down there. They didn't say why, and I didn't ask. I went down there, I went down there for them to tell me, they hadn't been able to identify the guy, through matching the DNA they'd got from me". She found difficulty finding the right words to explain the last part. "He's still walking around out there, leading a normal life, every day, and here I am, struggling to get through one day to the next".

"I know I'm going to sound like a broken record here, but things will get better". I told her.

"They don't feel like they're getting better, if anything they're getting worse. God I even broke up with Charlie because of it, my friends all treat and act differently around me". I knew these were feelings she'd been unable to speak to anyone about. "I can't even get through a hockey practice without making a run for it. I mean c'mon, I was actually scared of facing you, I've never been scared of facing you". We both let out a small chuckle.

We sat talking for another hour or two. She continued telling me everything about what had been happening. I was surprised at how open she was being with me. I'd never in my wildest dreams expected her to open up to me, the way she was doing. She told me she wanted to start playing hockey again, and we agreed that it would be just practices for the moment, until we both were confident enough to put her in for games.

I watched her leave, a strange sense of satisfaction surrounding me. I'd finally broke the ice with her, and gotten to know the less fiery Connie Moreau.

Anyways what you think? PLEASE R&R!


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

PUNKTEACHER : See Coach Ramsden ain't that bad really lol. I kinda liked writing him becoming soft lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

HOCKEY-GIRL90 : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : Don't worry about it. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

C-CHAN96 : Thanks for the review of chapter 7. Yeah you're getting there, slowly but surely lol – best way trust me lol. I'm sure if Charlie could, he would take you up on your proposal, but I'm telling you, if you're marrying Charlie, I'm marrying Adam no arguments lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CAKEEATER : Arr I'm glad you had a good time in Cyrus, I've always wanted to go there, no idea why, I think it's cause the name sounds very exotic, and trust me I need something exotic lol. I love you, ya know, but not like that lol, but no matter what, you ALWAYS manage to kinda remind me, that you're a Connie/Guy fan, kudos to you for sticking with your couple lol. You still think it's Enrique? How could you, he was like dead cool lol. You don't trust Ramsden? You don't trust many people do ya lol. Anyways thanks for your 3 reviews and support. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 18

CONNIE'S P.O.V

In the following few months, things gradually got easier. Though I still had my moments of paranoia, my life seemed to slowly get back to normal. I was back playing hockey with more gusto than Coach Ramsden was counting on. I strangely began getting on with him, and understanding why he pushed me so hard. Though the girls on the team still found it odd that I neither argued or said anything untoward about him, they slowly began accepting that I for some strange reason, had seen a side to Ramsden that they hadn't. In fact Julie and the guys even found it odd that I was now getting on with him.

I was no longer the talk of the campus. Though some students brought it up every so often, I was no longer hot gossip. However the first hockey game I played, the opposing team had obviously done their homework thoroughly and had learnt of what had happened to me, deciding to use it to their advantage. Whenever I was sent out, which was most of the game, they sent their two best enforcers after me, trying to intimidate me. They did at first, until Ramsden wound me up, and I got angry, taking my fury out on them at every opportunity. After the next few games of that happening, I became known as the new enforcer.

I started going to a few self defense classes too, dragging the very enthusiastic Julie along with me. We were taught numerous moves we could use in certain situations, though the instructor Claire explained the best way to protect ourselves was not to put ourselves in the situations in the first place. For the first time, I found myself admitting my mistake to the class, and found I wasn't the only one. 2 of the women in the class had also been raped and mugged. It made it easier for me, realizing I wasn't the only one who'd been through it. Even better than that, the three of us, organized to meet for coffee and we talked constantly about how we each dealt with our problems. It was nice being able to talk openly to someone who'd experienced the same pain as myself.

I continued visiting Jen, though not as secretly as I had been doing. At first, when everyone first found out about me, I was visiting her nearly every day, but just recently, I simply popped in once a week, just to get everything off my chest. Eventually I found myself talking less about my rape and more about the whole drama with Charlie. Jen also said more or less what Julie had. That if we were meant to be together, we'd get back together at some point, but for now, I needed to become comfortable with myself before starting a relationship up again.

I also went back to work, knowing in my heart I couldn't avoid it forever. Enrique was great, allowing me to work the kitchen area rather than the counter, so I could slowly lower myself back into the bustle of the busy café. Julie worked the exact same hours as me, and every night nearly all the guys came to walk us home. _'Safety in numbers'_ Fulton had informed me. The first night walking home had been hard, and upon sensing this Fulton and Dwayne sandwiched me between them, whilst Averman and Goldberg told jokes much like they always did.

Things between me and Charlie were still pretty much the same. We became more comfortable hanging around with each other, though there was still this unspoken word between us. I was still very much in love with him, but after much thought, I decided I was much better leaving things as they were. I needed to learn to depend on myself again.

A few times, I had caught Charlie's eye, and thought I had seen him glancing at me. Though he wasn't dating anyone, I knew it would only be time until he moved on. I knew then I would really hurt, seeing him happy with someone other than me. The thought simply made me feel sick.

"C'mon Jules, the guys are gonna be out front waiting to walk us to the game, any second". I shouted at my room mate as she dug deep in her closet looking for her absent skate.

"I can't find my skate". She whined, as she tried sliding her hand further toward the back of her closet.

"It can't be that far back Jules, you had it when, yesterday". I giggled slightly.

"It's not here". Frustration and panic etched it's way into her voice.

I was about to get up, and go in my own closet and look for it, or to grab my spare pair for her to borrow, when I saw her other skate sat exactly where she'd put it yesterday after taking it out of her bag. I laughed to myself, thinking how disorganized she truly was.

"Of course it's not there". I chuckled gently.

"Connie. This isn't a laughing matter". Julie responded sharply.

"Oh I think it is Jules". I couldn't suppress my laughter any longer. "Especially considering I can see your skate from here". She looked at me, then toward the area I was looking at.

Within a split second, she'd spotted the lone skate and lunged forward for it, as though at any second it could re-hide itself. I laughed at her antics, before reaching for my own bag, and lifting it onto my shoulder with ease. Julie too followed suite, and headed out the door in front of me, then waited whilst I locked it. I was still giggling slightly when we slipped through the main doors.

"Why you girls take so long is beyond me. We were just about to come get you". Luis stated.

The guys were stood in a crowd at the bottom of the few steps, awaiting our presence. They too had their hockey bags, since they had a game shortly after us. When we reached them, Portman and Julie had a quick embrace accompanied by wolf whistles and gagging noises. Portman took her bag easily from her shoulder, before wrapping his arm around her. I felt a familiar pang upon this, Charlie used to do the exact same thing for me, even though I always maintained the fact I was perfectly capable of carrying my own bag. Realizing I was staring gently after them, I quickly stumbled to fill the silent void.

"It isn't us girls that take so long Luis, is it Julie". I said pointedly, a giggling playing on my lips.

"Can I help it if my left skate went AWOL". She whined like she had earlier, but then laughed soon joined by a few others. "But you're not exactly super speedy getting ready yourself".

"I beg to differ Julie, I'm 10 times faster than you". I argued lightly with her. She looked at me in disbelief. "Averman, back me up, I get ready faster than you". I looked to my age old friend for support.

"She does get ready impeccably fast". He admitted.

Before we knew it, we were at the ice arena. Just inside the main doors, we were to separate from the guys. Whilst they were headed for the stands, we were headed for the changing rooms. I turned waiting for Julie to unglue herself from Portman's side. I watched with slight jealousy, as they each wished each other luck, and kissed each other tenderly. The ducks all shouted good luck to us, as we backed away and headed for our changing rooms.

"What's wrong Con's"? Julie asked after a few seconds. "You've gone all quiet all of a sudden". She stated.

"Nothin' just thinking". I answered.

"About Charlie"?

"No! what makes a you think that"? I answered defensively.

"Con's I see the way you look at him when you think no-one's watching. You miss him don't you"?

"Of course I miss him Jules. We were together nearly 4 years. It's just, that sometimes, when I see you and Portman together, it kind of reminds me of what I had with Charlie". I reasoned with her. "And you know, he'll end up finding some curvaceous blonde who can't tell a hockey stick and a puck apart, while I'm left to wallow in spinster hood".

"I think you'll find, he's still very much hung up over you". She told me gently, as we reached the changing room.

We dropped our conversation there. I knew though at some point it would arise again. Whilst I was getting changed, her words played over and over in my mind. '_Still very much hung up over you'_, was she serious? Had I been wrong to break up with him? I mean what if I'd heard what he was saying in the wrong context, I hadn't heard the full conversation, I'd left probably before it ended.

"Right let's go girls". Ramsden called through the door.

We all filed out of the changing rooms, and headed down the ramp toward the ice. Ramsden headed straight for the team box, where he checked his roster one more time. The moment we stepped out onto the ice, the arena went into uproar but you could spot the ducks a mile away, they were the only ones with massive posters with our names and numbers plastered all over them, and might I add they were the loudest. It was very much appreciated in my eyes. We did our warm ups and joined Ramsden on the bench. After giving us a few last minute pointers, and words of encouragement. I took my position on the ice, waiting for the face off.

"How ya doing shorty". Number 5 of the opposing team came and stood by my side. "Cause I guarantee you won't be feeling that way when we've done with ya". It was a typical, comment opposing teams told you, to try and make you feel nervous.

"You're right, I'll feel ten times better". I snided back, watching as the puck hit the ice.

Before the player by my side had the opportunity to knock me over, I skated away from her, following the puck down the ice. I was aware of her following me, but tried my hardest to ignore her. Getting tired of her, I spun to the side, immediately seeing her skate by me. I was now open and near enough to the goal to have a clean shot. One of my team mates passed the puck to me, only to be incepted by number 7. We all took off down to the other end of the ice, after the puck. There was a slight scuffle then the puck was set loose. The ref blew her whistle shouting 'face off'. I stopped by Julie's side, along with Tina.

"Is it me, or are these girls a little too butch"? Tina laughed gently.

"They are like man beasts". I laughed and headed to take the face off.

I won the face off and skated down the left side toward the goal. I didn't notice number 5 headed straight for me, and by the time I did, it was too late. She flew into me with such speed. I felt like a pinball being ricochet. Because I had been skating passed the team box, I was thrown into them. Luckily the girls caught me and pushed me easily back onto the ice. I could faintly hear a booing noise and knew it was from the ducks. Feeling a slight rage, I took off after number 5, stole the puck and hit it in any direction before crashing her hard into the boards.

"I might be short, but hell I can still check people twice as big as you". I spat and skated away.

Throughout the 1st period, all I seemed to be doing was fighting off number 5's advances to check me. It wasn't just me, she was brutal toward anyone who crossed her path. On more than one occasion she managed to check me. The 2nd period went much the same, though we managed to score twice, leading the opposing team who had yet to score. Since I had spent most of the 1st period out on the ice, much of the 2nd period, I was on the bench. I used the time to watch some of the other players, trying to pick their weak spots. Toward the end of the period, I was sent out again. I could tell the other team were tiring, and I took the opportunity to steal the puck, and went on a breakaway. When I reached the goalie, I took my shot, but she knocked it away. With very few players around me, I caught the rebound and tried again, this time sliding it straight passed her.

The 3rd period was very eventful, the opposing team tried frantically to catch up to our 3 point lead, but instead of concentrating on scoring, we tightened our defense even more, and I'm proud to say they rarely got anywhere near our goal. The more frantic they got, the worse their playing became. Number 5 again was following me around like a bad smell. She checked me twice before I really got mad. I then purposely went after her. I got a few checks in, before she checked me the hardest I've ever been checked before. When I managed to scramble to my feet, I flew after her, shoving her hard. Soon enough we ended up fighting and being dragged away by team mates, but even then I was given two minutes for the fighting, yet she was benched because she'd already gotten the two minutes for the check. When I got back on the ice after my two minutes, I was just starting to have fun, when the buzzer sounded, ending the game. We celebrated for a few minutes, then shook our opponents hands. When I passed number 5 I couldn't resist but smirk at her, in response getting a scowl.

I was toward the back of the group as we finally headed toward our changing rooms, when Charlie suddenly popped out of nowhere. The few players behind me, walked passed, leaving me alone for a few seconds. I looked at him skeptically, as to why he'd pulled me to the side.

"Good game". He finally told me, breaking the silence.

"Thanks". I replied, a little unsure whether that was the whole reason he'd pulled me aside. He then smiled his gorgeous smile, and took off toward the changing rooms. "Good luck". I called after him.

So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

KOKOMOCALIFORNIA : I'll try my very hardest not to be too 'Disney' for you. I'm glad you're enjoying it though. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

SWEETNJUICYX0 : Yeah you are pretty impatient lol, but so am I lol. Glad you're enjoying it. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CAKEEATER : I know, I'm real good aren't I? lol. Don't answer that lol. I think you'd be pretty bad on a jury lol, you've obviously found them guilty before the evidence lol. But I can't blame you to be honest, you gotta have a suspect haven't you lol. No unfortunately, Guy isn't in this story much, but, you know, what can I do, you were monopolizing all his time too much lol – or is that in your dreams lol. Yeah I did hear about d4, but I'm not sure whether it's going ahead or not, if you go on imdb. com it used to list it as in progress or something, but it's totally disappeared now. Hey don't be sorry for the long review, I LOVE long review lol. Anyways thanks for the support and LONG review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : You think so do you? Well we'll have to wait and see if they want to get back together or not won't we lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

AGEL15 : Arr thank you. You're VERY sweet for calling my story incredible. Yeah, I warmed to Ramsden too, and I think that's the reason why he's so 'soft' in that chapter. I totally agree with you, I tend to go for the more uncommon couples at the moment. I like the idea of Charlie and Connie, but I LOVE Adam/Connie. Ohh we'll have to wait and see if they get back together won't we lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

PUNKTEACHER : Glad you liked it. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 19

CHARLIE'S P.O.V

It had been 2 months since I'd broken up from Connie. 2 incredibly long months, of which I missed her every single second. I watched her all the time, her smile appearing more and more as time went on. She was slowly returning to the Connie we all knew. I know she thinks that I didn't love her anymore, well not the way a boyfriend should, but I will argue against that until my dying death. I still love her very much, and even more now if that was possible. Though things between us had been extremely strained, ever since I went back down to the police department with her, things had gotten easier, to the point where we were both happy spending time with each other.

I hadn't moved her picture from beside my bed, and often found myself staring at it, like I was doing right now. I could sit and stare at her for hours on end, even more so now, when I couldn't be with her. I was determined at some point to win her back. I needed her, and I felt incomplete without her. I was like a love sick bull calf as Dwayne often put it.

Everyone seemed to have noticed a difference in me since the breakup. My game was off, and games went with a mixture of lack of concentration and over aggression. I couldn't bring myself to put much effort into anything. My grades slipped slightly, but luckily, not too far that I was in-eligible to play.

I put on a brave face around the ducks and Connie especially, and for the most part I succeeded, but Averman and Adam went through all my mood swings with me, continually trying to cheer me up, and give advice. I was aware though of the difficultness of their situation. They felt caught between us, not wanting to seem as though they were taking sides.

"I'm gonna get you to trust me again". I whispered to the photo. "I"…

"Didn't anyone ever tell you, talking to yourself was the first sign of sanity". Averman quipped as he walked in the room. "Plus you won't ever get an answer".

"I wasn't looking for an answer". I supplied, shaking me head gently at his huge smirk. He followed my eyes to the photo.

"Please tell me you weren't talking to the photo"? He asked. "That's the like 3rd sign. I can't believe we missed the 1st 2 signs". He joked.

"The photo's as near a proper conversation I get with her these days". I answered. "What's the 2nd sign then"?

"Answering yourself". He told me, a chuckle playing on his lips, that suddenly disappeared. "It's only as hard as you make it Charlie".

"It's hard because I don't want to _just_ be her friend".

"She's not a mind reader Charlie. She still thinks that you didn't want to be with her". He told me seriously. "It hasn't clicked up here yet has it"? He tapped my head. "She broke up with you, not because she stopped loving you, but because she thought you stopped loving her".

I let his words sink in for a few seconds. His words made things seem all that more easier to do. It wasn't her trust I needed to regain. I needed to prove to her I still loved her as much or maybe even more than I had when I first asked her out.

"I gotta go do something. I'll be back in a while". I said suddenly, then began speedily exiting the room.

"Don't forget we've got a game this afternoon". He shouted after me.

AVERMAN'S P.O.V

"I won't". Charlie shouted as he dashed down the corridor.

"And the girls have got 1 before us". I shouted again, but he was already gone.

"Hey where's Charlie going to in such a rush"? Adam asked as he and a few other ducks walked around the corner.

"No idea. I think our Captain's finally lost it". I walked back into our room, followed by the others. "And you think I've got screws loose". I muttered, just loud enough for the others to hear.

"Well at least he's not moping around the place for a change". Guy pointed out.

Maybe Guy was right. We'd all been trying for days now to cheer him up, to get him to actually start acting like the Captain we all knew. I knew he was pining after Connie, but he had never tried to do anything about it. He seemed as though he had given up on her, letting her get on with things, even though we all knew, Connie too, was pining after him. The sooner they realized it the better off they'd be.

I had known both Connie and Charlie my whole life, they'd seemed like the most unlikeliest of couples. I was in shock when I first realized they'd got feelings for each other. I mean who wouldn't be, they were both like my siblings. But one look at them together, you could tell they were meant to be. They were the perfect couple, the girls on Connie's hockey team all wanted their own Charlie and guy's who knew Charlie wanted to find their Connie.

Everyone always thought Guy and Connie had been perfect, but they hadn't been anywhere as near as Charlie and Connie were. I seriously had begun to think, that somewhere in the future I'd be getting an invitation to their wedding. But not now. Things between them were so mixed up. I, and I'm sure the ducks all wanted to just fix things instantaneously between them. It didn't seem right them not being together.

Half an hour later, the rest of the ducks left, to grab their gear and get ready. We would be meeting the girls in about 10 minutes, to watch their game. Charlie still hadn't returned, and I was worried he would miss the girls game. I could tell, Adam too was a little worried about that fact.

Suddenly the door banged open, revealing a VERY cheerful Charlie. He walked in, a bounce in his step, his posture was confident and tall. He looked anything like the Charlie we'd seen him be since his break up with Connie. In fact, he looked like he first did when they first got together.

"What's with you? You been to see the doctor and got some happy pills"? Adam asked.

"Nope, I've taken nothing". He bounded onto his bed, laying stretched out with his hands behind his head.

"Then what"? I asked.

"I'm gonna get Connie back". He said, leaving how to our imagination.

"Finally, he puts up a bit of a fight". Adam announced, almost proudly.

"C'mon then. How you gonna do it"? I asked.

"You'll have to wait won't ya". He smirked. "Look, after the game, I'm gonna get Julie to leave her in the stands. I need the arena to be empty. Please God don't let the guys interrupt, this has to go perfectly". He pleaded.

"Ok". Myself and Adam said in unison.

We listened with interest as he explained the plan. I must say, it was rather romantic, and it left me with no doubt that Connie would be able to walk away from him without saying or doing anything. I felt pretty proud of him, for finally doing something about it.

After a few minutes, we all met up to go and meet the girls. Charlie loosely explained the plan, though he didn't tell them all the details he'd told me and Adam. Also on the way to the rink, he managed to get Julie out of Connie's sight and explain what he needed her to do. She agreed enthusiastically, though was warned heavily by Charlie to keep quiet.

Throughout the girls game, Charlie never stopped smiling. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning, unwrapping all his gifts, eagerly awaiting the opening of the next one. The game was pretty good, especially when Connie and one of the opposing teams players started checking each other all the time, and the other girl ended up being thrown out of the game. It was great to see Connie out there, actually enjoying herself again. In time, I too began to eagerly anticipate Charlie's surprise, desperate to know her response.

So anyway, what do you think? PLEASE R&R!


	20. Chapter 20 FINAL CHAPTER

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

MEME-ANN : That's not fair, that's a total bribe! You can't do that, you know how much I love 'A perfect family' and 'Kekini'. I'm in HUGE pouting mode now lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEEERS MI DEARS!

DUCKYS : Yeah you do ask too many questions lol, but all will be revealed in this, the final chapter lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

PUNKTEACHER : Well, I HAD to put a good Adam liner in there didn't I. He felt SO left out because he wasn't my main character lol, well that was until I reminded him, he would ALWAYS be MY main character lol. It could be romantic, but he could also mess it up, or Connie could really hate it lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

AGEL15 : You'll have to wait and find out won't you lol. I don't know though, whether anything he can do will be able to mend those bridges if you know what I mean. I mean don't you think that too much water has gone under the bridge for that? Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

CAKEEATER : I really must stop spoiling you then, shouldn't I? Yeah me and great fit perfectly in the same sentence don't they? Lol. I bet it was, I used to love cooking at school, mainly because I never was really good at the raw materials stuff lol. Guess what, I've just passed my driving theory today. So relieved, not that you need to know lol. OHHH I've nearly turned you into a Charlie/Connie fan, YAY me lol. I'll get there don't you worry lol. I'd love to be on a jury though, just sitting there being ABLE to judge people lol. Shame you can't do it for a living lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

XSARAH : All in good time lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

MELODIE : Thank you so much for helping me with this chapter, I do however regret that I had to change it slightly. But I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you so much. CHEERS MI DEARS!

**Dedicated to Melodie and everyone else who took the time to read this story, especially those who also reviewed. **

**Personal thank you's to Cakeeater, XSarah, Meme-Ann and C-Chan96 for all their reviews. Thanks so much! **

Chapter 20

CONNIE'S P.O.V

After our game, me and Julie grabbed some seats to watch the guys game. Because the guys still wore their ducks jersey's it had become somewhat a tradition between me and Julie to also wear ours in support. To be honest I still found myself dying to be out there with the guys. I missed playing with them so much.

Julie sat on the edge of her seat, waiting to catch the first glimpse of Portman. She was like a woman possessed. I knew though, I probably used to do the same thing when I was dating Charlie, though now, I forced myself to remain sat deep in my seat, as if it would tell anyone who cared, that I also didn't care. However, I still watched as alert as Julie for the team.

Within a few minutes, both teams emerged and a huge cheer rang out. The whole arena were on their feet, cheering them on. Without even thinking about it, we joined them. Though I would often claim I was cheering for the team, I secretly was cheering more for Charlie, I always had.

As we watched the teams warm up, I couldn't help but notice Charlie looked a bit more relaxed, happy even than his previous few games. It was as though suddenly something had all clicked into place and he was moving on with his life. Something in those thoughts put a dampener on me, and made me feel slightly morbid, but somehow I managed to keep my carefree composure in front of Julie. Though I honestly don't know why I bothered, she was far more interested in watching Portman.

I smirked and shook my head in thought. Those two were like water and oil. One minute they were so much in love, then the next, they were at each others throats. Funnily enough though, Portman, always, and I mean _always_ ended up being the one to back down. It was as though he knew how far he could push her before she'd blow her top and things get really serious.

Portman was a good guy really, and the fact he absolutely adored Julie made him even better. Before he had started dating Julie, I had always thought of him as, well I'm not completely sure. I loved him like a brother, as I did all the ducks, but he was probably one of the more private ducks. He always seemed rough and ready, but then Julie happened, and it was like he'd changed his whole personality along with his clothes. He was gentlemanly and caring. The others called him on it, well until both me and Julie pointed out, that other than Charlie he was the only other duck to have a girlfriend, and that soon shut them up.

In a way, Charlie changed much like Portman had. In the beginning, he seemed more desirable shall we say. I began noticing things about him, that maybe a best friend shouldn't. I mean a best friend would recognize when he changed cologne, but probably wouldn't have gone out of their way to point it out _or_ even find out what his new cologne was. When he looked at me, I began noticing how blue his eyes were, even losing myself for a few seconds in them. When he looked at me, I felt myself blush slightly, or chills ran down my spine. When his arm brushed up against mine, I felt tingles run throughout my body.

I think things really came to a head in the JV/varsity game before the summer of our junior year. It was the varsity's last ever game, and they were pulling out all the stops to win. I was out on the ice with Charlie, Averman, Adam, Russ and Julie in goal. Adam, Averman and Russ were behind us with the puck as we made our way into their zone. Rick and Cole somehow managed to push us together. We landed in a heap, Charlie almost on top of me, our face masks inches from touching. We laid their breathing heavily, for a few seconds, but God it seemed like hours. Probably before anyone noticed, we were on our feet again.

In the celebration of our win, I hugged him more than once, I could feel a spark between us, but then suddenly we both, or maybe it was just me, became tense. In the locker room, I was sat next to him like I had done ever since we started Eden Hall, but all I felt was awkwardness. I felt as though if anyone gave me one look they'd tell.

Things went on like that for a few weeks, well until the end of the school year. In fact, I went out of my way, to try and steer clear of him, but the fact we'd been best friends our whole lives made it rather difficult. I thought I'd been pretty lucky when non of the ducks had noticed, but a week before the end of the semester, Julie cornered me and managed to squeeze it out. When I told her everything about how I felt tugged in all different directions, she offered me to go and stay with her for a week or two at the start of the vacation so I could clear my head.

I felt horrible the day I left with Julie. We'd sat and watched all the other ducks off home, then finally there was just me, Julie and all the Minnesota based ducks left. Averman kept whining because his _'soul mate'_ was leaving for a few weeks, acting as though we'd never been apart our whole lives which for the most part was true. There had only been the odd vacation when we'd spent some time away from each other. Though I too felt a little odd knowing that for the next few weeks, I wouldn't see him, and wouldn't have him sneaking in my room, for movie nights like we'd had planned for months. Charlie looked the worse out of everyone. He looked as though I was leaving for good. When we hugged bye, he gave me an extra squeeze, before telling me to call and let them know we had arrived safely. I couldn't exactly figure out why he looked so morose about me going away for a few weeks. It was then I realized he hated it when any of the team left for home, but also because he too was mine and Averman's '_soul mate_' just like we were his.

The two weeks I had spent with Julie were torture. Though we had fun, my mind rarely left my situation with Charlie and honestly Averman. I missed them all, and I suppose I was pining for them. At the end of the 2nd week, instead of taking Julie's offer to stay longer, I choose to finally go home.

Julie put me on a plane in Bangor, and throughout the whole flight, I fiddled with my fingers, flicked rapidly through a few magazines I'd bought. When the plane finally landed, I made sure I was one of the first through customs and baggage collection. I walked briskly into the arrivals lounge expecting to see my mom and dad waiting for me, but after a few seconds, I knew they weren't.

_**FLASHBACK**_

I stood there trying to decide what to do. I suppose I could catch a cab home, I'd got just enough money. But then I'd have to climb through my bedroom window to let myself in, if my parents weren't home, which they obviously can't be since they weren't here. My other option was to call one of them at work, wait about an hour until they can get to me, if they can get to me that is, then probably have the situation cause an argument later.

Choosing the former, I hitched my carry on higher onto my shoulder, and grabbed my only suitcase and headed for the exit.

"CONNIE"! I heard my name being called, by the most unmistakable voice ever.

I looked up and could see Charlie's head bobbing up and down, as he ran toward me. It was then I felt panic, and I have no idea what exactly possessed me to do what I did next. I darted to one side, joining into a thick layer of crowd, I was then unseen. I followed the biggest part of the crowd, and luckily they lead me straight to the exit. I knew what I had done was incredibly horrible, but the idea of sitting in a car with him, which might I add was bound to close proximity, something I really didn't need right then, frightened me more than I dared to admit.

Outside the airport, I climbed in a cab and told him where I wanted to go. As cab drivers do, he took the scenic route, and got stuck in a major traffic jam. Strangely it didn't bother me as much as it usually would, at least I wasn't sat right next to Charlie throughout it all.

After three quarters of an hour, I finally got home. I dragged my things out of the back seat, paid the driver, and turned to see home. As expected my parents weren't home, but my bedroom window was as it always was, wide open. I stepped up onto the porch, placed my bags out of sight, then turned and headed back down onto the lawn, where I began to climb the tree. I climbed with ease that only an expert tree climber would. In less than a minute, I was sliding through the window into my room. Before heading down stairs, I called Julie to tell her I'd arrived home safe.

I headed down the stairs, deciding to grab some late lunch, then I knew I'd probably call Averman and arrange to meet up with him. I bounded down the stairs, and started walking down the hallway, passed the living room toward the dining room and kitchen.

"Connie"! A voice suddenly said.

"ARGH"! I screamed, grabbing the wall in fright, then twisting to see, you've guessed it, Charlie sat on my sofa. "You scared me Charlie". I told him, walking slightly into the living room. "How'd you get in, anyway"? I asked, a tad nervously.

"A key". He lifted it in the air to show me. "Why'd you run away in the airport"?

"What were you doing at the airport"? I shot back.

"So you admit you saw me at the airport"? He stood up and edged toward me.

"Yes… I mean no". I stuttered.

"Again Connie, why did you run away from me at the airport"? He came even closer and wrapped his hands around my shoulders.

"Because"… I shrugged his hands away, and walked further into the room, to put some space between us.

"Because, what"? He demanded.

"Because I think I've got feelings for you". I said quickly.

"Come again"? He asked me as though he hadn't heard the first time, though I knew he had, I could tell by the look on his face.

"I think I've got feelings for you". I repeated, though far more slowly and calmly than my first attempt.

"You've got feelings for me"? He repeated.

"YES CHARLIE"! I shouted. "I've been feeling kinda weird around you over the passed few weeks". I admitted.

"And you failed to tell me this because"? I had imagined him to be angry, but he was strangely calm.

"Because it's weird Charlie. You're not supposed to fall for your best friend". I replied. "I was scared".

"So you went with Julie, not because you wanted to spend time with her, but to get away from me"?

"No. I did want to spend some time with Julie. I was planning on going to see her at some point over the summer, but I needed to get away from you, because I was just hoping that maybe if I wasn't around you, the feelings would just disappear. Spending time with Julie was just the perfect opportunity and excuse". There were tears in my eyes now.

"I um, I need to, to leave, I need some time to process this". He backed away from me and headed for the door.

"See, this is EXACTLY why I didn't say anything". I shouted, as he left.

I leant back against the living room door frame, tears pouring down my cheeks. I knew I had just lost one of my best friends, because I wasn't strong enough to keep my feelings in check. After today things would always be awkward between us. Why? Why did he have to push me to tell him? Suddenly the door shot open.

"Charlie"?

"The hell I need time". He strode toward me.

With one movement, his lips were dancing hungrily atop mine. One hand rested gingerly on my waist, the other moving back and forth from my cheek to the nape of my neck.

_**END FLASHBACK**_

I spent nearly the full game, thinking of that day. It had probably been the best day of my whole life. There wasn't one day, I regretted the decisions I made.

"Captain Charlie Conway seems a little pre-occupied again tonight, though his playing is far better than it has in the last few games. Maybe he's finally getting his head back in the game". I could hear the announcer say, as we weren't sat too far from him.

I too had noticed in previous games Charlie's playing had been very off, but I knew exactly why. But tonight, he was actually starting to concentrate more. He was still some what off his game, but it was far better than it had been.

"Is it me, or is Charlie actually playing good"? I commented to Julie.

"Might have a girl in the stands". She commented loosely, without even looking. "I'm sorry". She said when she actually realized what she'd said. "It's just that, well you both just need to move on. You've been over a month now". She said gently.

"I know". I replied sadly.

Immediately Julie turned her attention back to the game. I however found myself staring around at the fans, as if I was trying to spot 'the girl', not that I would, I'd never met her. She could be a blonde with big boobs, or an intelligent red head. Who knows it could be a woman twice his age. I caught a glimpse of Charlie returning to the team box, I could see the massive smile on his face. As he glanced around the arena, I tried following his eyes, hoping he'd lead me to her, but wherever he was looking, the crowd was too big to tell. I felt physically sick, the thought of Charlie and someone else.

"Jules, I'm gonna take off". I shouted to my friend over the crowd.

"What why"? She shouted back, her eyes wide.

"I just, I just don't think I'm ready to see him with someone else". I admitted.

"Stay, please"? She pleaded. "If you can't stay for Charlie, stay for me, Averman and the others. Besides, after the game, you can come out with me, Portman and Fulton, we'll have fun".

I nodded feebly, and watched the last few seconds of the game. Unsurprisingly the guys won, and after celebrating on the ice for 5 minutes, finally bounded to the changing rooms. I sat there suddenly tense at the idea of having to catch a glimpse of this girl Charlie was now seeing. I watched as fans disembarked the arena, wishing I too could be going with them. But what good would it do, other than show Charlie how childish I was, proving to him he was well rid of me. I had to be stronger than that.

After 10 minutes, the arena was empty except for me and Julie. I had even seen the opposing team leave. My eyes darted around the arena, trying to find this mystery girl of Charlie's. But there was no-one around. Eventually I came to the conclusion she was waiting around outside. I was hoping upon hope, that Fulton and Portman were the first ones out, so we could just get the hell out of there. Julie who must have sensed my unease looked at me.

"I'll go see what's taking them so long. Stay here with the bags will ya".

"But… I… ugh". She was already gone, leaving me sat alone.

I was in two minds whether to just grab both our bags and just get the hell out of there. It wasn't as though she didn't know I didn't want to be there. She'd know I'd have just gone back to our room. I had almost made the decision, when I heard some gentle music being played. I glanced around to see exactly where it was coming from, but I couldn't see a thing.

"_Thanks for the times, That you've given me, The memories are all in my mind, And now that we've come, To the end of our rainbow, There's something, I must say out loud, You're once, twice, Three times a lady, and I love you, Yes you're once twice, Three times a lady, and I love you, I love you_".

It was then, I saw Charlie skating to the middle of the ice, slowly, then turning to face me. His voice not exactly matched to the song, and on a few words he was extremely out of tune, I could slightly hear Lionel Richie's voice too, but I really didn't care. My hand without me realizing, had moved up to my mouth. Tears threatened and before long one poured.

"_When we are together, The moments I cherish, With every beat of my heart, To touch you to hold you, To feel you to need you, There's nothing to keep us apart_"

He continued singing. He was still stood in the centre of the ice, looking directly at me. Slowly I stood up and began climbing down to the players box. My eyes never left him, and when I was half way there, he must have realized I wasn't moving to get out of there, but I was going toward him, he started skating steadily to me.

"_You're once twice, Three times a lady, And I love you, I love you_".

I entered the player box and headed straight for the boards, climbing carefully over. By the time I had gotten my other leg over, ready to drop onto the ice, he was directly in front of me, and his body slipped between my legs. He dropped his mike over into the players box, before wrapping his arms around my waist. My arms automatically went around his neck. I leant forward and kissed him gently, aware of the tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I love you". He whispered when he pulled away.

"I love you too". I whispered back.

He pulled me slightly, and I reciprocated by wrapping my legs around his waist. Suddenly he skated backwards, then began spinning. During mid spin, he found my lips again, and we remained kissing until we slowed to a stop. He gave me another gentle kiss before lowering me to the floor.

"Arr it's so beautiful isn't it"! We heard a voice and turned to see Averman and Julie stood just in the main gateway to the ice, the rest of the team and Orion smiling like a proud parent behind them. Averman Julie looked to be crying, well Julie definitely was, their heads were lolling on each other, and their hands clasped together at chest height. We laughed a little, before kissing again.

"So do you forgive me then"? Charlie asked gently, resting his forehead on mine.

"What for"? I replied, ready to just forget everything over the passed few months.

"Well"… Charlie began.

"CHARLIE SHUT UP"! The whole team yelled suddenly.

So that really is the end! What did you think? PLEASE R&R!


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